Sex Lessons from Eliot Spitzer
by Marc H. RudovSize Matters
A man’s sophistication about women is inversely proportional to the size of his sex budget: the more he disburses, the less he knows. Whether he spends lavishly for sex on his girlfriend, mistress, wife, or prostitute, his mere purchasing of sex is proof of ignorance about the female libido. Given what we’ve learned about the magnitude, complexity, and logistical deployment of Eliot Spitzer’s sex budget, it’s clear that the ex-governor of New York is sexually naïve.
I got my first clue about Mr. Spitzer when he resigned publicly and tragically, on March 12, 2008, from the governorship. He displayed no emotion whatsoever. All that he had built, personally and professionally, was in tatters. Yet, with his disgraced wife by his side, cold as stone, he informed the world that he would step down from office. Contrast that with Brett Favre’s 20 minutes of blubbering while resigning from professional football just the week before. I’m not saying that Eliot Spitzer should have wailed uncontrollably like that — thank you for sparing us — but, to show zero emotion suggests, in fact defines, repression.
Why Eliot Spitzer saw infidelity as his only solution to sexual gratification is anyone’s guess. Perhaps his wife no longer satisfied him. Perhaps, like many men, Spitzer suffered from the Madonna-whore complex, where a man is unable to view his post-childbirth wife as a sexual being. Actually, I don’t know or care why he chose to stray. In my view, if any aspect of one’s marriage breaks down, he should fix it. If that becomes impossible, he should end the marriage, not betray it. But, if a man sees cheating as his only option, his style of pursuing sexual conquests implies much about his view of himself, of women, and of sex.
Positions of Servitude
In Under the Clitoral Hood, I teach that women are more sexual than men — and that men needn’t ever pay for sex. Men who pay for sex never learned this fact of life. Why? They were raised with immature, idealized, glorified views of women, and to believe that men are more sexual than women (a lie). They put women on pedestals and never know them — in fact, are unable to know them — as peers. Such men find highly sexual women threatening and won’t get involved with or marry them. Instead, they will marry sexually bland, virgin-like women — perfect as controllable moms and wives — while pursuing hot extramarital sex. This behavior is a sign of deep insecurity.
Observe some men around women, and you will notice puerile, sycophantic, deferential behavior. Always from positions of servitude, their pickup lines are in the vein of What can I buy you? Where can I take you? How can I make you happy? They would — and do — crawl through fire and broken glass, and pay any price, to get laid. Pathetic. The more money a man is willing to pay a woman for sex, and the more he brags to her about his possessions, the less he values himself.
Eliot Spitzer — real-estate scion, graduate of Princeton and Harvard Law, Manhattan district attorney, New York attorney general, New York governor — has to pay to get laid, with hookers and wire transfers? Give me a break! Nonsense. Women throw themselves at desirable men. Women are dying to get laid. Do you think they buy vibrators to mix concrete?
Given that, according to Susan Shapiro Barash, more than 60% of married women cheat on their husbands, Mr. Spitzer could have found many discreet, high-profile, unhappily married female counterparts for his trysts. Furthermore, these unfaithful women, who are hornier than the men they find, are not paying for sex! Let this be a lesson, gentlemen. Instead of hooking up with one of them, Spitzer chose high-risk, high-priced, low-esteem sex from whores. How sad. It’s bad enough that he devalued his marriage by cheating. But, he compounded that devaluation by unnecessarily enriching his female accomplices.
The NoNonsense Bottom Line
A man who truly understands the power of the female libido pays nothing to get laid, ever. Eliot Spitzer, by purchasing sex, proved he doesn’t understand the female libido and has low self-esteem. As a result, he destroyed a career, a family, and many friendships.
Eliot Spitzer humiliated himself at that news conference on March 12th, when he resigned as governor of New York. But, prior to that fateful day, Eliot Spitzer did something worse: he humiliated himself every time he paid for sex — and that is his lesson for every man.
About the Author
Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized radio/TV personality and author of 70+ articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth (ISBN 0974501719). Mr. Rudov is a regular guest on Fox News Channel’s Your World with Neil Cavuto and The O’Reilly Factor.
Rudov’s books, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at TheNoNonsenseMan.com.
Copyright © 2008 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.