Hypocritical Attitude

How do people typically react when hearing about or witnessing a woman-hits-man situation? Other than presumptively asking, “What did he do?” they don’t seem to care. The implication is that the man deserved it, because women are naturally peaceful, and men are naturally violent. Besides, even if he didn’t deserve it, it’s just a woman hitting a man — a woman can’t possibly hurt a man, right? Such stereotypical nonsense insults both genders.

Our societal attitude is: When man hits woman, it’s violence; when woman hits man, it’s emotion. This hypocritical attitude, resulting in the unconstitutional Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), gives women a free pass to accost men and to falsely accuse them of violence and rape. Aside from the occassional arrest, such as what happened to “bachelorette” and former Tampa Bay Buccaneers cheerleader, Mary Delgado, for punching “bachelor” and fiance Byron Velvick (both appeared in the 2004 season of ABC’s The Bachelor), most women who hit men do so with impunity.

I’ve received letters from men saying that the only way they could get their abusive wives and girlfriends arrested was to secretly tape-record the violent acts. When the police hear a woman screaming at and slapping a man, they have no choice but to arrest her. Generally speaking, women don’t have to tape-record anything for the police, just accuse and claim fear. The bar for a female arrest is indeed set very high.

You Go, Girl

When Patricia Heaton’s wife character frequently assaulted Ray Romano’s husband character on CBS’s Everybody Loves Raymond, people always laughed. When Angelina Jolie smashed wine bottles over Brad Pitt’s head in Mr. & Mrs. Smith, they cheered “You go, girl.” And, when CBS Evening News anchor, Katie Couric, slapped news editor Jerry Cipriano for inserting the word sputum into her script, they either yawned or didn’t even know about it. Had the genders in the aforementioned situations been reversed, there would have been rioting in the streets.

This past week, I appeared on The Dennis Miller Show. One of the topics I discussed with Dennis was female-on-male violence, because I had just debated it with Lis Wiehl on Fox News Channel’s Your World with Neil Cavuto. Dennis, like most people, had trouble believing that women are as harmful as men. Even if women start more than 50% of the domestic violence, he opined, men have the “muscle” advantage. That’s conventional thinking, and it is wrong. Women today are working out with weights in gyms all over the country. Many were college athletes, and plenty of them are enrolled in karate and kickboxing classes. Have you carefully examined some of the female basketball, soccer, volleyball, and tennis players? They’re not shrinking violets. Women are tough — isn’t that what Hillary Clinton, who aspires to command the US Marines, always tells us?

Men are taught as boys not to hit girls, even if girls hit first. So, when brother pops the head off sister’s Barbie, and she clocks him over the head in return, many parents condone that as legitimate retaliation. But, when sister steals brother’s truck, and he raises his hand to her, he is told: “You don’t hit your sister, no matter what. Leave her alone.” This sends a message to both genders that females are allowed to be violent, and it becomes a bigger issue in adulthood.

The Victimhood Bubble

In my November 16th debate with Lis Wiehl, about the danger to men of Taser-wielding women, she said: “You know, domestic violence is a bigger injury — threat of injury to women than rape, mugging, cancer, breast cancer, all of those things combined. So, if women have a tool, a Taser, that they can use in a domestic violence situation or a rape situation, more power to ‘em, Marc. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Ashamed of myself? I’m not too ashamed to check the facts. In fact, Lis’s claims don’t match the facts. Not even close. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), heart disease and cancer, at #1 and #2, respectively, cause 50% of female deaths; domestic violence isn’t even in the CDC’s top-10. The National Institutes of Health (NIH) lists the top-five causes of death to American women as heart disease, stroke, lung cancer, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, and breast cancer. What’s sad is that people want to believe Lis Wiehl’s claims. Why? Because American society has chosen to “accept” that men are predators and women are victims.

When Crystal Gail Mangum leveled false rape accusations against three innocent lacrosse players from Duke University, in Durham, North Carolina, most people — including Duke’s president, Duke’s professors, the people of Durham, and the media — wanted to believe these boys were guilty. Why? Because American society has chosen to “accept” that men are predators and women are victims. Ms. Mangum was never prosecuted, because of the George Costanza excuse: she believed her story; so, technically, it wasn’t a lie. Could a man get such a free pass? Give me a break.

Most people, I believe, envision male/female violence as a boxing ring, with the man as heavyweight and woman as lightweight, and a referee standing by to point out the obvious discrepancy in their builds. But, this is not reality. When women throw punches and dishes, men are usually caught unawares and unprepared to protect themselves. Any woman can fell any man by sucker-punching or ambushing him with a fireplace poker. Just because she might be shorter or weigh less doesn’t make her assault any less egregious than if he had hit her. Even if a woman slaps a man in the face, as we always see on TV when she is in a jealous rage, she is committing a crime. Assault is assault is assault, no matter who commits it.

In my November 23rd debate with Lis Wiehl, about men needing to avoid women at work, because of VAWA and EEOC rules, I committed the politically incorrect sin of correctly stating that men and women are equal-opportunity domestic abusers. The resulting firestorm that erupted from Media Matters was totally unexpected. In fact, Media Matters temporarily censored and prohibited the posting of all comments in support of my claims until RADAR (Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting) publicly protested. My crime? I pierced the “victimhood bubble,” which feminism needs to perpetuate itself. Instead of rebutting me with supporting data, which don’t exist, the Media Matters crowd “violently” attacked me personally — always a sign of weakness.

The NoNonsense Bottom Line

Radio & TV PSAs about domestic violence are always about violence against women. The objective is unilaterally to educate men not to hit women, as if women are totally blameless. One never would conclude from these PSAs that women are equal abusers — people just don’t want to talk about that. But, women are equal abusers.

Until PSAs about domestic violence equally exhort men and women not to hit each other, they are wrongly and unfairly perpetuating the image of man as predator, woman as victim. Worse, boys and girls hear these misleading PSAs and grow up fearing men but also understanding the hypocrisy. And, the benefit of this to society is?

When woman hits man, we should not laugh, cheer, or yawn. We should be appalled and disgusted. Our society must value men and women equally. Domestic violence (DV) is an egregious act, no matter who causes it — man or woman.

Women are not delicate flowers who need special protection. They are tough and strong and capable of using their fists to hurt men. People who don’t accept this are in denial and are creating unfair, unbalanced, unconstitutional policies and laws that hurt all of us. Violence is violence is violence, even when woman hits man.

About the Author

Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized author of 70+ articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth (ISBN 0974501719). Mr. Rudov is a regular guest on Fox News Channel’s Your World with Neil Cavuto.

Rudov’s books, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at TheNoNonsenseMan.com.

Copyright © 2007 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.

Sinking Feeling

More than 95 years ago, the RMS Titanic sank on its maiden voyage after hitting a huge iceberg that ripped through its hull. The crew, too distracted and preoccupied with the ship’s beauty, didn’t notice the iceberg until it was too late. Accordingly, a man can suffer the same fate if he’s too distracted and preoccupied to take note of a woman’s icebergs.

Many believe that a man and woman must spend a couple of years together before knowing each other well enough to cohabit or marry. I say they need only a couple of weeks. That’s all. Here’s my claim: After spending one solid fortnight in each other’s company, new lovebirds will see, hear, and feel evidence of all the icebergs that will sink them — if they act naturally and don’t tiptoe around on eggshells to impress each other.

Unfortunately, one of two human failings is at play here: not recognizing an iceberg (she’s an emotional clam) or choosing to ignore it altogether (I shouldn’t be so judgmental). Ask anyone after a recent breakup why his relationship didn’t last — whether it endured three months or three years — and, he’ll admit, with a sinking feeling, that he saw the problem immediately after meeting her but chose to overlook it.

Because I make my views known publicly, I receive lots of feedback from men and women around the world. As a frequent TV guest, I get courtesy limousine service to and from the stations. My limo drivers, who also serve international politicians, athletes, celebrities, and businesspeople, tell amazing stories about these luminaries. Consequently, I am bombarded with people’s personal sagas, some of which are shocking and sad. What’s fascinating is that, regardless of our occupations or wealth, we’re all quite similar.

The common thread running through all of our relationships: we see the warning signs — the icebergs — early on and choose to ignore them. Then, we spend the remaining months and years reinforcing this self-deception. This happens because our parents and teachers and clergy socialize us to focus on people’s good attributes and minimize their negative ones. As I pointed out in The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women, this is terrible advice. Icebergs sink ships.

Princess Mentality Syndrome

Weighing all the input from others, and factoring in my personal experience, I’ve concluded that a man will face no female iceberg more destructive than PMS: princess mentality syndrome. PMS makes a woman feel entitled to special rights, privileges, chivalry, and pedestals — just like a princess. PMS causes men to suffer headaches, cramped lifestyles, bloated expenses, low self-esteem, and bleeding of cash. Her PMS is nonsense and totally avoidable. If you suffer from it, you do so by choice.

What causes PMS? The two-word reflexive response men give to women: “Yes, dear.” In a nutshell, fathers initiate PMS; boyfriends and husbands perpetuate it. Allow me to illustrate PMS in its two basic forms: teenage girl and adult woman. Notice that, in each form, PMS cannot exist without a man’s endorsement. Do either of these scenarios look familiar to you? PMS is an iceberg that will sink your ship. Ignore it at your peril.

The next time you see a man in a TV commercial or TV sitcom being portrayed as a buffoon, remind yourself that such negative male depictions are direct results of millions of men tolerating PMS, by saying “Yes, dear.” Such obsequious male behavior is duplicated and institutionalized everywhere from universities to corporations to newspapers to restaurants to bedrooms to courtrooms — all the way to the Senate floor, where Joe “Yes, Dear” Biden convinced his colleagues to enact VAWA and reauthorize it three times. The “VAWA Iceberg” — and all misandrist legislation — is directly derived from PMS.

The NoNonsense Bottom Line

PMS is the worst iceberg you’ll ever face in your life, because it is insidious and seemingly harmless at first glance. But, most of its mass — and potential harm — lies below the surface. Do you see PMS on your horizon? Will you avoid it in time or inevitably crash into it? Or, is it too late to ask?

Visualize Leonardo DiCaprio, playing Jack Dawson, hanging on for dear life at the end of the movie Titanic. He didn’t survive. He froze to death, sacrificing himself for the woman he loved. Did you ever sacrifice yourself for the woman you love, or for a woman you once loved? How’d that work out for you? Did you ever sacrifice yourself for a woman you didn’t love? Was this voluntary or court-ordered? How did that work out for you?

There is a simple cure for PMS. Two words: “No, dear.” That’s how you avoid the iceberg. Do you have the balls to say them? If so, you will change your life, overnight. If, however, you won’t take the PMS cure, you’ll end up like Jack Dawson. You probably won’t freeze to death, literally, but you might emotionally and financially. Will that make you feel any better?

About the Author

Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized author of 60+ articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth (ISBN 0974501719). Mr. Rudov is a regular guest on Fox News Channel’s Your World with Neil Cavuto.

Rudov’s books, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at TheNoNonsenseMan.com.

Copyright © 2007 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.

The Disconnected Society

There is little in life more insulting and annoying than receiving a text message about a very personal matter, when a phone conversation is necessary to resolve the issue. Yet, people in our “wired” society are increasingly refraining from talking to each other. We are well-connected electronically and disconnected emotionally. If technology is flattening our world, it also is steamrolling human connection. People are pushing the wrong buttons.

Women complain to me all the time that men are texting instead of calling them. That’s because men fear rejection. I guess it’s easier to be rejected impersonally after flirting impersonally. According to an AP/AOL poll released today, 43 percent of teens use text messages to avoid verbal expressions of uncomfortable subjects. Namely, 22 percent type their dating invitations, and 13 percent do likewise to break up. Overall, half of teens and one-fifth of adults use text messages.

What the AP/AOL poll doesn’t explain is that texting will lead to cheating. In “Female Infidelity on the Rise,” I quoted Sue Shellenberger, WSJ columnist and author of a book about the female midlife crisis, to expose women as equal-opportunity cheaters. Traditionally, men have been labeled as unfaithful dogs who can’t help but cheat because they are wired that way. Nonsense. There was a time when men worked and women didn’t; that’s when more men than women cheated. Cheating is all about exposure and opportunity — and insecurity and boredom. Now, with women comprising half the workforce and the majority of college students, they have the freedom and opportunity to cheat, and they do so in droves.

Foreplay Begins on the Phone

We haven’t seen anything, folks. I am predicting that female cheating will rise exponentially. Why? Because, by texting women, men are setting themselves up to be cheated on. In Under the Clitoral Hood, I explain that a man can seduce a woman only with his voice. Not with his money (oh, she’ll take it, but she is not sexually aroused), and certainly not with a text message.

So, if a woman ends up in bed with a guy who used his typing finger and a free meal to get her there, she will cheat on him — because she is engaging in “obligatory” sex, not lustful sex. It’s only a matter of time until she becomes bored with taking his free meals while fantasizing about other men. Ultimately, she will cheat on and leave him.

Because more and more men are using typing instead of talking to charm their paramours, they will spend more money on dates and more time regretting their negative returns on investment. If a man doesn’t talk to a woman, face-to-face or over the phone, he cannot make it clear that he’s not going to wine & dine her. And, he cannot hear in her voice that she is aroused. Foreplay begins on the phone. Omit it at your own peril.

The NoNonsense Bottom Line

Conveying one’s personal feelings impersonally — via texting — is cowardly and pathetic. Yet, it is becoming the new norm. Alas, as I mentioned above, there will be consequences. An increase in texting leads to both an increase in the cost of dating and an increase in female infidelity. Everybody has the power to stop this dysfunction. I say it will become a lot worse before, if ever, it becomes better.

If you want something important, ask for it with your voice. If you don’t want another entitled princess in your life, make it clear with your voice — in real time, not a voice message. Stop hiding like a eunuch behind technology to avoid pain today — you’ll just invite bigger pain tomorrow. Learn to confront directly, in our indirect world, with your voice.

A finger is a powerful weapon; it can push many buttons: to create text, dial a phone, and crank her engine. Ask her how she wants you to use yours.

About the Author

Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized author of 60+ articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth (ISBN 0974501719). Mr. Rudov is a regular guest on Fox News Channel’s Your World with Neil Cavuto.

Rudov’s books, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at TheNoNonsenseMan.com.

Copyright © 2007 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.

Presumptive Predators

In case you didn’t know, October was “Domestic Violence Awareness Month,” during which Americans were startled to learn that women are just as likely as men to commit domestic violence. Mention this at a party, and you’ll find yourself standing alone at the punchbowl for the rest of the night: people just don’t want to hear it. Sugar and spice, remember?

Because of VAWA (Violence Against Women Act), American men are presumptively and, therefore, unconstitutionally tagged as predators. Men must face a feminist justice system of proving innocence, instead of being protected by the US Constitution, which requires prosecutors to prove guilt. They have Senator Joseph Biden (D-DE) to thank for this — just ask the three exonerated lacrosse players from Duke University. And, what happened to Crystal Gail Mangum, the woman who was protected by an unconstitutional rape-shield law after she falsely accused them of rape? The same thing that happens to all fraudulent rape accusers: nothing. What do the feminist presidential candidates (Hillary and the men) have to say about this: nothing. How many of you men in Delaware will reelect Joe Biden?

The misandrist climate doesn’t end there. Because of IMBRA, the unconstitutional law that Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS) sponsored, American men are considered dangerous to foreign women. That’s right, foreign women in foreign countries now have more American rights than American men living in America. Because of IMBRA, foreign women now have the power to demand unilateral background checks on American men before dating them. Worse, they can do whatever they want with this confidential information. How many of you men in Kansas will reelect Sam Brownback?

The Shocking Truth

Enter the “Taser for ladies,” available in metallic pink for $350 from Taser International, Inc., in Scottsdale, AZ. A news item on Fox News described the latest fad: women having Taser parties, redolent of Tupperware parties, where they get each other to purchase these weapons. Do women sometimes find themselves in dangerous situations where they need protection? Absolutely. Because of VAWA, do women have the potential to fraudulently use Tasers, with impunity — in arguments, in rages, out of jealousy, for spite, in revenge, etc. — to commit legal assault and battery on innocent men? You bet they do!

A Taser purchaser must register with and get approval from the company. What about training, though? If she uses it, where on a man’s body will she aim it? Is she liable for any harm to him? Is she obligated to get him medical attention? According to the company Website: TASER® energy weapons are not considered firearms — they’re legal to carry in most states without permits (including California). They are restricted from citizen use in MA, RI, NY, NJ, WI, MI, HI, IL, and certain cities and counties. According to a German consultant to the company, Tasers, as consumer products, are currently illegal in Europe.

If Taser weapons are not considered firearms, what are they considered? This presents yet another challenge to our hypocritical, gynocratic “legal” system. I don’t know what Tasers are considered, but I can guess: in the name of protecting women — translation: getting the female vote — our male legislators and judges will ignore the issue until men force them to deal with it. This is the shocking truth, folks.

Here’s a scenario to ponder: If a maniacal wife attacks her husband, as so often happens, and he tases her, what do you suppose would happen to him? Ha! How many lawyers would it take to defend him, to “prove his innocence”? Not to mention being pilloried by the media as a wimp (when a woman attacks a man, it is just emotion; let it go).

The NoNonsense Bottom Line

I counsel every man to ask a new paramour, before becoming sexually involved with her, about: her use of birth control, her willingness to terminate an accidental pregnancy, and her carriage of STDs. Now, there is a new question to add: Do you own a Taser? If she does, and logic and perspective don’t appear to be her strongsuits, stay far, far away from her.

Remember Biden & Brownback: they have convinced their Senate and House colleagues to give women the preponderance of civil and criminal rights. They are responsible for creating the Department of Justice’s unconstitutional Office on Violence Against Women. And, they will be responsible for women indiscriminately tasing men.

There are many things you might want to say during a romantic evening gone badly, but the last one is: “Don’t tase me, babe!”

About the Author

Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized author of 60+ articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables™ (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth™ (ISBN 0974501719).

Rudov’s books, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at TheNoNonsenseMan.com.

Copyright © 2007 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.