Sugar & Spice

The basic premise of all my writings about men and women is that they are essentially the same and have the same desires, but that they are socialized differently and programmed for conflict. To wit: as children, we learn the gender myth that boys want sex and girls want relationships. Not only is that myth patently false, but my book, Under the Clitoral Hood, goes a step further: it demonstrates that women are more sexual than men.

Teaching kids gender myths ultimately leads to dysfunctional relationships, an intolerable divorce rate, and fatherless homes. It also encourages society — especially feminists, journalists, university presidents, lawmakers, policemen, district attorneys, and judges — to presumptively categorize men as predators and women as victims.

In the past week, we saw Lindsay Lohan arrested again, Nicole Richey going to jail, and Paris Hilton losing her inheritance for sullying the family name. We read about Mary Byrne Smith, who ran away from her family and took an assumed name, causing many to unfairly suspect her husband of foul play. We also read about a disturbing tendency of some miltary wives to abuse and neglect their children when their husbands are fighting in battle. What about sugar and spice and everything nice? It’s nonsense. Wake up.

Libido & Ladies’ Night

According to a recent study at the University of Texas, US college-aged men and women agree on their top reasons for having sex: attraction, desire for physical pleasure, and “it feels good.” The results of this study, in which 20 of the top 25 reasons given for having sex were the same for men and women, were published in the August edition of Archives of Sexual Behavior.

“The more we look, the more we find similarity,” said Dr. Irwin Goldstein, director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego. Goldstein, who was not part of Meston’s study, said the Texas research made a lot of sense and adds to growing evidence that the vaunted differences in the genders may only be among people with sexual problems.

The myth about sexual behavior has fostered a disappearing, sexist practice in many bars around the country: ladies’ night. New York attorney Roy Den Hollander has filed a class action against certain Manhattan nightclubs for “invidious discrimination” against men in their policies for admitting women. Hollander alleges that the clubs are violating the 14th Amendment’s guarantee of equal protection under the law, and, in addition to declaratory relief, he is seeking nominal damages and an injunction to halt the nightclubs’ practice of admitting women at a lower price than men.

Ladies’ nights are illegal; they already are outlawed in California, Hawaii, Iowa, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. Women who drink for free prove they aren’t equal to men and don’t want to be equal to men. On July 31, 2007, Lis Wiehl and Megyn Kelly — both lawyers — told Bill O’Reilly, host of Fox News Channel’s The O’Reilly Factor, that, if Hollander prevails in his lawsuit, they won’t be showing up at any more bars. Bingo. If men are stupid enough, ladies will own every night and every day.

Why do ladies’ nights exist? Because men don’t get women and don’t require much of them, either. Worse, they think little of themselves. Men know little about the female libido and, therefore, don’t realize that booze is not required for sexual leverage. As I’ve stated ad nauseam: women do not get sexually aroused because of cash or booze. Men mistakenly think that, because women accept cash and booze, it equates to sexual arousal. Wrong. Unfortunately, ignorance is a stronger and more-enduring force than change.

Last week, I appeared on Maxim Radio’s Covino & Rich Show, on Sirius Satellite. I discussed the stupidity and danger of mixing booze and babes. Stupid because it is compensation for lack of skill. Dangerous because rape laws allow women to accuse men of incapacitating them with alcohol. Despite the shocking calls from men who were destroyed by women using the booze excuse to falsely accuse them of rape, at least half of the callers were outraged at me. I ruined their day.

One caller, a newly minted lawyer from New Jersey, told me that, if he doesn’t ply Manhattan women with alcohol, they’ll think him a loser. It’s all part of the game, he explained. Really? Newsflash, pal: you have it exactly backwards. The more money you spend on a woman, the more she’ll think you’re a loser. And, she’ll think this while taking your money!

The NoNonsense Bottom Line

In January 2007, AOL and Woman’s Day magazine teamed up to survey 3,000 married women. Results: more than half probably wouldn’t marry their husbands again, and 33% definitely wouldn’t marry their husbands again. Also, more than 75 percent fantasize about men other than their husbands, and 39 percent admitted to constantly flirting. These are alimony and child-support checks waiting to happen.

Why do these unfulfilled marriages occur? It’s very simple: Men wine & dine women, and women go along with it. Women are not turned on by these guys. But, their mothers taught them to marry providers. So, they bypass the men they really want and marry the men who please their mothers. After popping out some kids and purchasing the house, the unfulfilled wife divorces her husband, takes the house, the cash, and the kids, and then starts dating the men who really turn her on.

To get women, men must “get” women. Women like sex and are more sexual than men. Use this knowledge to your advantage, and stop operating from a point of weakness and ignorance. If you wine & dine women, it proves that you don’t “get” women. You think you will get them, but it will be temporary. In fact, they will get you.

About the Author

Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized author of 60+ articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth (ISBN 0974501719).

Rudov’s books, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at TheNoNonsenseMan.com.

Copyright © 2007 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.

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