Most Women Regret Marriage
by Marc H. RudovThe NY Post just published an article — “Desperate Wives: Half Have Regrets About Hubbies” (reprinted below) — based on an informal survey by Woman’s Day magazine and AOL, that buttresses and validates my new book, Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze or Jumper Cables. It is available at www.UnderTheClitoralHood.com.
According to this survey, more than half of 3,000 married women polled were not sure they would marry their husbands again — with more than a third saying they would definitely not pick the same spouse. Also, more than 75 percent fantasize about men other than their husbands, and 39 percent admitted to constantly flirting.
As I continue to advise, the worst mistake a man can make is to wine & dine women — it is a colossal waste of his money, and it attracts entitled princesses who are not sexually attracted to him.
After an entitled woman gets married and settles into the “good life,” she becomes so bored sexually that she begins to fantasize about other men and has a high likelihood of cheating. The result of wining & dining women is a disastrous marriage that ends in divorce — all told, the man pays exorbitantly in dating and divorce. For what?
This is because men believe that they are more sexual than women and must pay women for sex. Men have it backwards: women are more sexual than men, and men don’t have to pay for sex at all. Until men learn this lesson, until they stop tolerating female nonsense, until they knock off the moronic chivalry, they will keep going to bed with women who dream about other men.
The facts speak for themselves, guys. Deny them at your own peril — emotional and economic.
==============================================
DESPERATE WIVES
By LEELA de KRETSER
NY Post: January 3, 2007 — So much for happily ever after.
A new survey has found a shockingly large number of blissful brides turn into desperate wives.
About the Author
Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized author of 45+ articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth (ISBN 0974501719).
Rudov’s books, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at TheNoNonsenseMan.com.
Copyright © 2007 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.
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January 3rd, 2007 at 3:52 pm
The divorce rate is about half also. No suprises here.
I echo Marc’s advice to avoid princess; else you’ll pay a princely sum.
January 3rd, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Bet over half the men regret marriage even more.
January 3rd, 2007 at 5:19 pm
I can definitely believe that a lot of women (and men) regret marriage.
January 3rd, 2007 at 5:34 pm
I would like to see exactly the same study on men.
I’ll bet they are EVEN MORE disillusioned!
January 3rd, 2007 at 5:56 pm
Gee…how depressing.
January 3rd, 2007 at 7:01 pm
Love and commitment are choices. ‘Falling in love’ may be nature’s trick to get us together but staying is a choice. Most women seem to have no staying power. No persistence. Love is something that ‘happens’ to them rather than something they choose to do. They cling to their ‘right’ to change their mind as though mind were knickers to be changed daily. Their focus is themselves rather than their partner.
The vacuity of mind illustrated by the constant preoccupation with celebrities ‘getting it on’ with other celebrities is indicative of arrested development.
January 3rd, 2007 at 7:41 pm
Our culture has caused women to be mired in fantasy, to where no man can meet the measure…Its a social catastrophe…
I have been doing some reading on asian male and female relationships lately, and it is not good. Asian women have a false sense of perception that has ruined them from finding asian male mates…
January 3rd, 2007 at 8:23 pm
“The survey also found women spent time thinking about….”
don’t care
“Nearly half of the women said they wanted….”
don’t care
“Actress Jennifer Aniston should…”
don’t care
I honestly do not care at all what American women think and want.
January 3rd, 2007 at 8:39 pm
supamike:
WHERE ARE YOU READING THESE THINGS. i AM INTERESTED.
Xie xie ni
January 3rd, 2007 at 8:56 pm
Well I was speaking regarding the influence of westernized culture on Asian american women. Many of them have false perceptions of american men from movies, romance novels, magazines, media etc. They claim the same feminists excuses.
January 3rd, 2007 at 9:16 pm
We also must remember that women are raised to be miserable. This was the point of “If Women Were Happy.”
If you ever find a happy woman, it is equivalent to discovering plutonium.
January 3rd, 2007 at 9:42 pm
(Quoting amfortas): “Love and commitment are choices. ‘Falling in love’ may be nature’s trick to get us together but staying is a choice. Most women seem to have no staying power.”
Amen to that! They’re usually the ones who initiate divorce, & even when men do it, it’s the men who get taken to the cleaners. Until recently, I felt that the species could best be continued if women went to clinics, got artificially inseminated, & raised any resulting children by themselves. But, looking through Marc’s blog archives from a LONG time ago, I learned that even said clinics can’t keep men safe from the long arm of child-support laws. Happy, non-entitled women are indeed so rare, I fear the days of the human race are numbered.
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:25 pm
I desire to share a dating experience.
I met a Peruvian woman (read non-American, non-feminist). She is conservative. She never had an abortion; shops for mostly groceries not shoes and purses; joyfully makes me dinner then washes the dishes; does not interupt me; does not quarrel; does not own a dog or cat; does not compete with me; and, tells me that she is not a “American princess” but a helper.
She says that serving me is her honor and that God put woman on earth to “help” the husband/boyfriend.
http://www.nomarriage.com/why_foreign_women_are_better.html
One small study for Latina-American marriages approximated a 10% divorce rate.
http://usaimmigrationattorney.com/MarriageLongevityRates.html
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:28 pm
To MRuffolo,
Do you feel confident that your Peruvian friend will continue her “man is king” attitude after you marry her and get her a Green Card?
I’ll lay odds right now that she won’t. Tread with caution, my friend.
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:53 pm
So the choice is to marry a foreign woman with a 10% chance (9:1 odds) of divorce for a Green Card, or to marry an American with a 50% chance (even odds) of divorce for little or no reason.
Maybe the choice is to be patient, to wait, even to delay marriage. In America marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Be clear that she does not believe that man is king just as the woman is not a “princess.” Yet there is a risk of Americanization the longer she may be exposed to the privileges and rights of a feminists.
But at the end of the day a woman does not steal men’s children, property, liberty, and eighteen years of monthly income in divorce, the family court does this.
Anyway, it is still pleasing and peaceful to date her.
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:55 pm
Survey wasn’t scientific so the results are meaningless.
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:58 pm
What was unscientific about the survey?
January 3rd, 2007 at 11:08 pm
Thom,
The survey results are not meaningless — they correspond to everything I witness personally and hear through worldwide correspondence, from men and women alike.
The survey is not scientific because the sample is not random. But, that does not mean the survey has no value. I’ve done surveys on my Website that are not scientific, but they are spot-on in describing and predicting behavior.
I wrote Under the Clitoral Hood because of the number of women who told me that their boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, husbands, and ex-husbands don’t and didn’t satisfy them in bed. Women get hot just thinking about my book’s title. You figure it out.
January 3rd, 2007 at 11:44 pm
Scientific or not the survey has a disclaimer: “This brief study is intended as a STARTING POINT ONLY (their emphasis, not mine) for research and discussion. It is not a perfect study nor does is it based on an exhaustive database.”
However, a 2002 TGI Latina Study with 34,398 persons states in Peru there is a 1.7% chance (49:1 odds) of divorce.
http://www.zonalatina.com/Zldata308.htm
Chill. I shared a personal experience supported with a small study.
January 4th, 2007 at 4:41 am
Marrige in America is a 20 year shopping spree. You drive, she shops. You carry the bags, she shops. You miss the game, she has a blast. You pay, she spends. Monday, you go make more money so next weekend you can go ……..shopping! She goes to the gym to compare what she bought with her girlfriends. Absolute insanity.
January 4th, 2007 at 5:31 am
This whole mens movement thing is a fake, and is controlled mostly by women. The true voices of men have yet to be heard. We have too many men in the this fake movement, that cater to womens issues, so the real mens movement has yet to begin. I have yet to find one forum on the internet that allows men to discuss mens issues. Most of them are conttolled by men who cater to women. So it looks like much of the feminist movment has decided to create a fake mens movement to control male thinking…
January 4th, 2007 at 5:47 am
I don’t think so Supamike,
I see a lot of genuine discussion of men’s issues — very passionate. I don’t see censorship by women here or on other groups. I really don’t know what you are talking about. I think it is rather exciting to see how there is a convergence of sorts — a substantial consensus being reached on many men’s issues on many internet sites.
On another topic, love is very much a verb not an adjective. It is something you do not a description of something. I do believe in love at first sight. I have seen women many occasions that I “loved” in a sense at first sight. Mainly, I was extremely attracted to them physically. However, with respect to long term relationships, love is a course of action. It is a choice. You are more happy if you make this choice (if your significant other makes the same choice). You can choose love, but your choice is frustrated if your significant other chooses differently. There is nothing worse than one way love. At some point, if your significant other chooses otherwise, you must strangle your love and kill it otherwise it will kill you.
January 4th, 2007 at 6:53 am
There is a long standing feminist assertion that most men are afraid of commitment. I maintain that women aren’t afraid of it because they don’t know what it is. To them, commitment is “Til I find better, do we part.” Unfortunately, many women seem to apply this to children as wll.
January 4th, 2007 at 7:26 am
Women do not commit to anything.
Making an agreement with a woman particularly in the family law context is foolhardy.
I have seen it over and over again. A settlement agreement is reached. The ink is not even dry on the paper and the woman is violating nearly every provision in the agreement. The guy is held to the agreement and she is not. An agreement limits him and it does not limit her. It is a fools game.
My point is that commitment is something that seems to not apply to women. I like the statement one internet blogger made months ago. A woman is not even required to commit to the sex act through conclusion. She can change her mind right in the middle (for no reason whatsoever — I am not talking here about the situation where the man misbehaves during the sex act). Now, that is a lack of commitment — not even for 30 minutes or whatever. Her change of mind equals prison for him. Even if she communicates it ambiguously Gee whiz. Women have no standing to complain about the reluctance of men to commit.
January 4th, 2007 at 8:48 am
She considers Commitment to be of the VERY GREATEST importance. It has to be TOTAL and for ALL TIME. His that is.
She is always willing and eager to commit and ‘intuitively’ ‘knows’ that it takes practice. Lots. It has to be done over and over. She thinks about it every day. Then its easy. But she worries that it is too easy. Perhaps it isn’t real. How can she be sure its real. Is his real? She is so unsure about her commitment being real that she projects her anxiety and failure onto him. She will ask him to recommit almost every week for the rest of his life. She will demand it. He will say yes of course but she won’t believe it beyond three days. Then there follows four more days of uncertainty. Hers. And a another round of demand along with an accusation that he doesn’t know what commitment is. She is hoping he will tell her as she has bugger all clue.
Because he has ‘difficulty’ committing. Everyone ‘knows’ that.
To him it’s a one- off thing. A Big Thing. It means he will be paying for the rest of his life. Supporting her. Nurturing her. Providing for her. Defending her. He thinks about it deeply, for some time, usually too long, not understanding it’s importance to her that he does it right NOW. But when he does it is forever. He has decided and he’s good at that. Decisive. Its a done deal. He gets shocked when he has to recast the contract every week.
She initiates 80% of divorces.
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry, and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem entitled ” All Men Are Just Like Pigs.” Then she will ‘get on with her life’. She can just ‘let it go’.
A man has a little more trouble letting go.
For six months, she may not hear from him, but then, at three on Saturday night/Sunday morning, he will call and say, “I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I’ll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you’re a total bitch. But I want to let you know there’s always a chance for us to get back together. I love you”.
January 4th, 2007 at 9:35 am
After reading many of these, I can only wonder about the “men” posting here. You all sound like a bunch of whiners. I say “grow up” and act like men. My word, men and women both get crapped on in relationships from time to time. So, make wise choices and pray/work for the best. Relationships are a 2 way street. All American women are not as you say.
I am an American woman and the picture you all paint certainly doesn’t describe me. Perhaps the characteristics you are looking for in women is the problem.
January 4th, 2007 at 9:45 am
I’ve read a lot of interesting comments here, about male power and female control and female commitment.
Women do not control the men’s movement. Men control the men’s movement. This victim mentality is self-defeating and self-fulfilling. If the “men’s movement” doesn’t produce results, it’s because men didn’t make it happen. That’s life.
There is a new movie called The Pursuit of Happyness. It is about the life of Chris Gardner, who went from living in the street to multimillionaire. The lesson of his turnaround, which he learned from his mother, is that there is no calvary — no one is coming to save you. Every man must save himself.
The men’s movement begins at home. Most women have amazing ability to commit — to your cash. Because there is no longer a stigma to being divorced, most women don’t care about getting divorced. Why should they?
Like the just-deposed CEO of Home Depot, Robert Nardelli, the typical divorced wife leaves the marital corporation with a big payout. This is why I keep emphasizing the importance of choosing a woman who pays for you on dates and NEVER, EVER utters the entitlement nonsense.
Men created, enforce, and interpret the divorce laws. They exist, and I don’t know if we can ever overturn them. The only control a man has in his life is choosing the right woman. If you are wining & dining your woman, you have already lost. She will fake her orgasms, fantasize about other men, cheat on you, and eventually take your kids from you. Yes, you can count the days until she cleans your clock in divorce court.
Yet, I keep seeing comment after comment on my blog about how women are in control and they can’t commit. If a man kisses a woman’s ass and gives her his cash, how is she at fault?
What’s interesting is that the people — men and women — who read my books tell me that their lives have changed, that they no longer engage in their old, self-destructive behavior. Hmmmm….
January 4th, 2007 at 10:01 am
I’m reminded of a cute scene in the Simpson’s where Homer asks his wife: “You don’t fantasize about other men in bed, do you?” and she answers no. She then asks him: “Are you fantasizing about other women?” and he replies: “I’m not. Now.”
I don’t think the study is that big of a deal. Women love to complain and whine and fantasize otherwise romance novels wouldn’t sell. Men like to look at porn. This doesn’t necessarily indicate marital infidelity. In some ways, maybe it’s healthy for them to find creative and healthy outlets for this energy.
January 4th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Mable:
The problem is the whining men you see are the minority for which the veil has been removed. You, while I have no idea about you personally, have absolutely no idea how true these generalizations are. Most men don’t either, because the place you reside is a comfortable place, filled with preconceived socialized beliefs and a bit of entitled defensiveness, and sorry to say, that same debate strategy that frustrates the devel out of men.
I see it again and again. There is a disagreement and the woman states something that is a true fact as if in refutation of the man’s point. The problem is, she feels as if she has scored by the infallability of her contention, but its the relevance that is the problem. Your statement that “relationships are a 2 way street” is true, basic, sophmoric, fundamental, obvious, cliche, and 10000% irrelevant to the dicussion, but a woman will pat herself on the back as she nailed him with her wisdom.
This dynamic unfolds daily in the disagreements of men and women, and its maddening to men to see that triumphant look cross her face as she spouts the painfully obvious yet completely irrelevant and he has NO WAY of getting around it in what becomes an excericise in asymptotically approaching the truth but never reaching it.
Mable, we are not bitter childish men , losers who got what was deserved in divorce court, read w/ an open mind please, fact check the percentages mentioned, talk to women after divorces and listen for the key words, then come back and see if “relationships are 2 wat streets” has an ioto to do with this topic!!!!
January 4th, 2007 at 10:08 am
PolishKnight,
It’s fun to be in denial, isn’t it? Ignore reality at your own risk. Playing ostrich, engaging in self-delusion, and complaining are the touchstones of the “men’s movement.”
I remember when the US had evidence, even during during the Clinton Administration, that we would be attacked on 9/11. But, we ignored those signs. I wonder what happened after that?
January 4th, 2007 at 10:27 am
There are two solutions to our screwed up relations with woman.
Either you go gay or you go religious.
But since most of the entitlement princesses are Christian, don’t go Christian.
I’m beginning to understand why the men of Islam are so fanatical. They know that it is the only safe way to have a relationship with a woman.
If you don’t want to be subservient to women, join Islam. (No I’m not a Moslim and I’m not gay, just anther pissed off american male)
January 4th, 2007 at 10:50 am
Mable wrote “men and women both get crapped on in relationships from time to time.”
Women initiate divorce about 80% of the time. In general men mostly lose the children, property, liberty, and eighteen years of part of his income.
American divorce rate is approaching 55% – one of the highest rates in the world (there are about 220 countries in the world).
http://www.mapsofworld.com/world-top-ten/countries-by-highest-divorce-rate.html
Gloria Steinem, a leader of the feminist movement, wrote “Women need men like fish need bicycles.†This attitude is still echoed today in mostly every American woman, each family courtroom, and almost all media outlets.
January 4th, 2007 at 11:03 am
I offer this challenge to all men about to compose a comment on my blog: Before you click the submit button, ask yourself whether your comment is an absurdity or a practical solution.
Here are examples of absurdities: converting to radical Islam, becoming gay, becoming celibate, becoming a hermit, importing brides, and expecting women to solve your problems.
January 4th, 2007 at 11:52 am
Marc wrote:
PolishKnight,
It’s fun to be in denial, isn’t it? Ignore reality at your own risk. Playing ostrich, engaging in self-delusion, and complaining are the touchstones of the “men’s movement.â€
I remember when the US had evidence, even during during the Clinton Administration, that we would be attacked on 9/11. But, we ignored those signs. I wonder what happened after that?
Good heavens. That’s quite a bit to swallow. All I said was that people often express regrets, doubts, and fantasize about alternative choices they could have made but may still be happy with their life as it is. I’m reminded of women who freak out if they catch their husband looking at a pretty girl walking by. No big deal.
I’ve read dozens of books from a variety of authors and found through personal experience that most women, even good women, need to be wined and dined. It may even be something in their DNA. I know because I tried otherwise. Rather than fight city hall, men can pick and choose their battles in other arenas: Find women that can accept and listen to criticism, express strong sentiments about family (and this shows in their own background), care about men in their lives, etc. But that’s just what I discovered. I respect your opinion but I believe mine deserves respect too. Cheers.
January 4th, 2007 at 11:56 am
Women don’t need to be wined & dined, PolishKnight. You have decided that wining & dining is your only option for getting laid, and that is why you will lose.
January 4th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
I would venture to say that Mable’s post probably represents how most people in society view men’s issues. Out of ignorance they listen to our words without hearing what we are saying, and they respond with irrelevant condescending platitudes, such as the “grow up” comment.
I think sometimes that being a male victim of our divorce courts must be something like what blacks have had to endure, and to some extent still endure. The whole society discriminates against you, but then when you stand up for your rights and fight for justice, they try to marginalize you as a negative whiner, or some other such perjorative.
Would that Mable and others like her would walk in my moccasins for even a few hundred yards before she offers more opinions. Most people can’t even remotely imagine the kind of emotional and mental pain, humiliation, and outright abuse that the men posting on this site have had to endure.
January 4th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
Women don’t need to be wined & dined, PolishKnight. You have decided that wining & dining is your only option for getting laid, and that is why you will lose.
I never said any such thing about getting laid. I said that in the dating/courtship process, women crave being wined and dined and fighting this is counterproductive. If the objective is sex, then dating/courtship is unnecessary: guys can just “hook up” or have women over to watch a film, etc. Where have you been? This isn’t the 1950’s anymore! Sexual mores are considerably looser.
January 4th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Getting laid is the reason for being with women. If you really believe that women genetically crave wining/dining, and that a man’s job is to court them and give them the gifts they want, you are vaginized and just don’t get it.
You are the kind of guy whom entitled women can spot a mile away. You are the kind of guy whom entitled women crave, because they can easily take your money during dating and divorce. Read “Riding the Estrogen Express” and “Her Double-D’s Can bankrupt You.”
Everything I write — in my books and articles — is designed for guys like you. If you don’t learn to treat women as unentitled peers, you will lose … and lose big. And, then, you will come back to MND to complain about how you got screwed. Duh!
January 4th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Mable proves what men here have been saying with:
After reading many of these, I can only wonder about the “men†posting here. You all sound like a bunch of whiners. I say “grow up†and act like men. My word, men and women both get crapped on in relationships from time to time. So, make wise choices and pray/work for the best. Relationships are a 2 way street. All American women are not as you say.
I am an American woman and the picture you all paint certainly doesn’t describe me. Perhaps the characteristics you are looking for in women is the problem.
Ironically, your dismissive, emasculating tone comes across perfectly as how the men here describe prissy American women. It’s laughable how one moment you argue the men are overgeneralizing all American women to be the same while at the same time generalizing that everyone gets crapped on from time to time. Try thinking a little before opening your mouth.
Note that most of the men here complain that American women such as yourself aren’t “growing up” and acting like women: Adult women are supportive of their men and soft spoken. You write like a spoiled teenage girl. That’s the problem: Our society treats women like spoiled sexually active girls who are little better than the filth on the Jerry Springer/Montel Williams show which often portrays these sociopaths as victims.
Time after time, Montel and Springer will bring out women who have a bastard baby she needs support checks for and they’ll line up a half dozen guys. When one of them is found to be the father, he’s given a lecture about adult responsibilities and being cautious about whom he sleeps with. When NONE of the men turn out the be the father, the Jezebel breaks down in tears and the host rushes to console her.
You are right about one thing: You’re going to have bad relationships. Your type is attracted to tough bad boys.
January 4th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Mable is accurate
January 4th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Getting laid is the reason for being with women. If you really believe that women genetically crave wining/dining, and that a man’s job is to court them and give them the gifts they want, you are vaginized and just don’t get it.
You are the kind of guy whom entitled women can spot a mile away. You are the kind of guy entitled women crave, because they can easily take your money during dating and divorce.
Everything I write is designed for guys like you. If you don’t learn to treat women as unentitled peers, you will lose … and lose big. And, then, you will come back to MND to complain about how you got screwed. Duh!
Interesting perspective. Let’s look at human relationships as a “job”: We do things, when intelligent, for some kind of payoff. Done correctly, a well done “job” is paid in the end. The payoff for a properly wined and dined woman is that she is happy and associates that happiness with the man who provided it.
Wining and dining to get laid is stupid. Women are well aware of this and if a man lets it slip that’s his intent, most women are insulted and angry. Hell, most are suspicious of this already. That’s why I seperate wining and dining as a courtship ritual from “getting laid”. There are much better ways to get laid.
After the initial wining and dining, smart men let women wine and dine him. American men are shocked that my wife cooks for me and prepares my lunches. Does that sound vaginized? For a few meals that made her happy, I’m getting back a truckload of food. But that was never how I looked at it. I did something to make her happy and she’s doing things to make me happy.
Women with an entitled attitude would generally avoid me to begin with because I didn’t display excessive wealth. You made me laugh with that accusation. My wife would laugh too. What makes a person entitled is if they view something as such rather than something they want and are willing to earn. I expected women I took out to be grateful and considerate. The problem with the sucker men in the states is that they act as if they should be not only wining and dining such women, but also providing them with entertainment too.
The fact is that women are not men and will always need men to live up to the role as providers and supporters and ultimately, decision makers. You sound as if you’re trying to get women to live up to equity-feminist ideals. Now whose being delusional? I’m accepting women as they are and saying that men should select the best ones out of that pool.
About getting laid: I just said that there are ways to get laid without wining and dining women. Did you read that? I was talking about courtship/dating versus getting laid. Two different things. That you don’t understand this distinction indicates that you maybe you should rethink things a little before proclaiming yourself a prophet for men. If getting laid is the only goal for someone, they shouldn’t get married. Marriage is mostly about enjoying time with a woman, having kids, etc. Sex is a small fraction of that time.
January 4th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
I did not realize this was a personal blog. Sorry. Will not be posting anymore.
January 4th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Marc:
While I enjoy reading, agree with , and learn from your writing, it gets to a point where you may want to consider that either others have figured something out that is also correct, or even, gasp, that they have something meaningful to add to your comments. You seem to always either disagree or say yes that’s correct if you tweek it such and such a way. I can assure you that you have not, for the ages, broken the code on women, though you’ve cut through the fog and made great observations that were rarely to never made prior.
But when you say Mable was right I suppose you must be tangentially insulting PolishKnight, otherwise I believe you may be eating too much soy!
January 4th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Mable is right, and PolishKnight is wrong.
Having endless debates is a waste of time. Solving problems is what I’m all about.
I have an international following and a rising media presence because I am right. I am bringing a fresh, badly needed perspective to a BIG problem. I will not agree with anyone who provides the old-world view to male/female issues.
This is 2007. Time to wake up and smell the coffee.
January 4th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Hey supamike. Try http://www.antimisandry.com
They have a good forum where alot of this is discussed. And it is far from being pro-women’s side of things.
January 4th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Ok thats clear enough, but in the ebb and flow here it is not what you clearly said.
“I have an international following and a rising media presence because I am right”…Uh, OK, why do picture that being spoken w/ the body language of a two year old tantrum? Geez….
I in no way defended the “old” view, I merely stated that you’ve not broken the code completely and others have something to offer. Your reaction, if serious and not sarcastic, leads me to conclude that your near pathological devotion to one’s own views cannot be a good thing when you seem to place in black and white things that by their nature are grey.
I guess I’ll sit this particular movement out and watch you and your international following live happily ever after. I’d rather hang with the less then perfect and enjoy the journey than fall under the iron fist of the “Saddam of Relationships”!
January 4th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Thanks Mirwalk, I hope you are there..
Conservativation, I enjoy your views.
January 4th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Supamike,
Thanks!
January 4th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
Mable is right, and PolishKnight is wrong.
Mable implies that the current way men are treated is just peachy. If all is so good for men, as she claims, why should any men listen or care about what you say?
Now quit whining and buy Mable dinner. You might get lucky.
January 4th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
My blog is not pro-female; my blog is not anti-female. My blog is pro-logic and pro-fairness and pro-empowerment.
Mable implies nothing. She says outright that men are whining, and she is right. All women aren’t evil; that is her point.
We’ve all been through the wringer, and we all must heal and move on. Some of us, because of our negative experiences, like to change our lives and do things differently going forward. Some of us, however, like to be stuck in the past, continue to operate as in the past, and complain about getting the same results in the present.
For PolishKnight to write that the solution is to buy Mable dinner — when I’ve been advising that Mable should be doing the buying — proves that he is not absorbing the material.
For PolishKnight to think that having sex with a woman is “getting lucky” proves that he doesn’t understand female sexuality.
If it takes wining & dining & luck to get a man into bed with a woman, he has no game, doesn’t know anything about female sexuality, will be cheated on, and stands to lose a lot of cash.
January 4th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
It seems that when men speak about how they are upset with out women, then they get labeled whiners….Its easy to play the “you are not a man” speeh to men, but dialogue is good. Marc, I am dissappointed in yoy, not because of your points of view, but simply becuase you refuse to be challenged on your points of view. I dont think there are many here that completely disagree with you, but you refuse to see that you only have part of the equation. YOu leave men sitting like sperm squirming up to the egg, and only a few will get the chance to mate. Why is it that everytime someone speaks on your blog that you see it as him trying to see himself like a victim? I have never seen myself as such, and I have yet to see one comment on this thread, or any other thread from any of these guys that sounds like whining, complaining, or a victim mentality. Why do you mix this up with fact? YOu force people to think that you have figured out some magic formula, but you refuse to be challenged on it…That is very suspicious to me. I tried to post to your last article and you refused to let ne do so. I have not lashed out at you. I may not say the things that you want to see, but trust me, that I am ont to something that you seem to completely miss about the dynamics between men and women. I am no fool. I see this trend from you and other men like you and JOhn Bambenek, that you think that men need to cater to their wives in the bedroom alot more. I actually smile when I read your article. But again, all I do is plead with you is to open your mind to see that you have only a small part of the equation. YOu are pointing men in the wrong direction, in fact you are pointing them into a black hole where there is no return.
The problem in the mens movement is that everytime we get someone to speak out on anything, they get labeled whiners, or having too much of a victim mentality. For these things are only for women right? *Wink *Wink!! It is almost seems that the machismo is going to doom us. That once again we have a deep need to prove “Who is the Real Man”. In fact you alllowed Mable ( a woman I might add) to come on this thread and do what so many women know they can do too men, and that is get between them and determine that some are less than men, and others are men.
Hey Marc why is it that you feel that just because many women agree with your books and articles, that somehow it is right? I mean think about that hard for me, my friend. I mean has it not occured to you that just because all these women agree with what you say, that it possibly may not be the right answer? Heck you and I can remember some 35 yrs ago when there was a movement by women that told us that men need to be more sensitive, then came the metrosexual thing and now this….lol..Right?
Truth is that women alone dont shape what men are. The biggest thing that is lacking today is we dont ask anything from our women. Why is it that you and Bambenek refuse to see this? That a woman has a role and responsibility to her family, men, children and community? And that today this sense of entitlement has been given to them by men. But not due to wining and dining…Let me get this straight Marc, wining and dining is down, from the 1950s. I have seen many women today who are complaining about the issue of men not paying or taking them out on lavish dinners. But I would be willing to say that spoiling women, contaminates them with a mind of entitlement.
BUt who is that you are speaking to? Can you answer that honestly. Who is your audience? Is it some guy who is looking for that right girl, and he decides that he wont pay out alot to find her? I can tell you right now, I am married, but I can clearly see that there are plenty of women out there today who are contaminated with the entitlement bug. This mating game is alot tougher than you make it out to be..Even when a man decides not to pay out, any woman knows that another man will.
Here is my last question to you and its not meant to be disagreeable:
Why would todays modern women want to buy a man dinner, or pay him for dating entertainement? What motivates her to do such a thing?
January 4th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Supamike, I couldn’t be happier that you wrote this posting. It demonstrates that you hardly understand me at all.
So many of you guys rant on and on and on, and many of you are angry at me every time I speak positively about women, and it is crystal clear that you have not read my articles or my books, or heard me debate women on the radio.
I label men as whiners when they whine. What is whining? Incessantly complaining without resolving to change. Being afraid of women is whining. Blaming women about controlling men is whining.
That is why Mable said you guys aren’t real men. Real men don’t worship women. Real men don’t fear women. Real men don’t blame women. If you choose a bitch, it is your fault. When I’ve chosen bitches, it was my fault. I don’t take responsibility for a woman’s bitchiness, but I take responsibility for choosing her. That is why I am so tough on you guys — to wake you the f*&k up.
Did you ever hear me call a woman a bitch or a prostitute on the radio? Did you ever hear me yell at a female caller for feeling entitled and wanting a provider? If not, that’s because you have chosen not to listen to me on the radio, or to listen to my archived radio interviews.
You are wrong, my friend, I DO have it figured out. That’s why so many people take me seriously. It is black & white; it is not gray. I get letters from men around the world, thanking me for changing their lives.
Women thank me for teaching them how to be fairer to men and not to allow men to control them through money. Yes, many men WANT to buy women and don’t want women to pay. These fair-minded women don’t know how to handle the domineering men.
On the flip side, entitled women hate me, and I hate them. I tell them to f*&k off in my private life, and come close to saying that on the radio. There are many women who thought they would be going out with me, until they said they wouldn’t split the blind date. Then, I bid them farewell. It’s that easy.
I’ve written two books and almost 40 articles about how to deal with entitled and psycho women. I’ve written about how to find a good one and please her in bed — so she will want you and not cheat on you. Why is it that you cannot cite anything from these writings? It must be because you haven’t read them.
Women are entitled because men enable them. Women are golddiggers because men are gold-givers. I have said, ad nauseam, that men must stop tolerating female nonsense. But, as PolishKnight proves, a lot of men believe women ARE entitled. THAT is why women have the entitlement bug, as you call it.
Did you ever visit a home where the children are brats? Why are the children brats? Because their wimpy parents encourage them to be brats. That is why women are brats — because men encourage them and tolerate them. It is so simple.
Spoiling women? Who said anything about spoiling women? Not I. Where are you getting this? I never spoke those words. Never. Giving a woman lots of orgasms isn’t spoiling her. It is pleasing her. It’s required. It makes the relationship last. What’s wrong with that? It gives you power in the bedroom, which she WANTS you to have. If she doesn’t please you back, to your satisfaction, dump her. Simple. Equal. Fair. Reciprocal.
Because you are married, you are too-far removed from the dating world. Entitlement is not down from the 1950s — it is as big as ever. I have argument after argument on the phone with women — professional women — who expect wining & dining. No way, sis.
Why would a modern woman want to buy a man dinner? Because she is modern. She believes in fairness. She wants a man to respect her as a peer — not to view her as a whore or an immature girl. Because, by paying, she can go to bed with him out of attraction, not out of obligation (when he pays).
It is not fair for you to keep arguing with me and debating me when you haven’t read my books. You are shadow-boxing. Read my books. Take the time to understand my positions and how I developed them. Appreciate that lots of men are living better, more-empowered lives because of me.
Because of me, lots of women, for the first times in their lives, realize that they are entitled. They never even thought about it before — because no men had the balls to confront them, face-to-face, via the Internet, through books, or over the radio.
Women do NOT respect politically correct, deferential men. They don’t. They’ll take your money and your kids, but they won’t respect you. If you can’t see that I am not kissing women’s asses, you are blind and just don’t get me. So be it. I don’t know how to be more clear about who I am and what I’m all about.
January 4th, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Marc Wrote:
“We’ve all been through the wringer, and we all must heal and move on. Some of us, because of our negative experiences, like to change our lives and do things differently going forward. Some of us, however, like to be stuck in the past, continue to operate as in the past, and complain about getting the same results in the present.”
This is something that my own mother would say and she has been married 9 times that’s right 9 times…Over the years I have caught her in way too many inconsistencies and lies in what she has told me about my own father to give her any credibility or even to consider taking her advive seriously…
The way that family law in regards to marriage, divorce, child custody and support are written and enforced…Is just like placing a gun up against a man’s head with his wife, girlfriend or S/O’s finger on the trigger…Some women will never pull it, other’s will use the ability to do so as a constant threat to extort what they want out of the men in their life (my second step mother was like this), while others won’t hesitate to do so…
The point is not wether a women will or won’t but that she CAN at any time she chooses…This is a constant threat that runs in the background of every man’s mind, wether they want to admit it or not, who has seen this happen to someone else…It tends to color ALL decisions and ALWAYS gives the female the advantage in any disagreement or argument no matter how minor or petty…As well as sows distrust into any and all relationships any man attempts to enter into with any and all women…
January 4th, 2007 at 6:07 pm
You see, after all that I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote, DaPoet comes along to say that women control him — any time they choose. Folks, this is whining emasculation. This is sad.
Any guy who lets a woman rule him isn’t a man.
January 4th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
Sorry Marc but any man who doesn’t take what a woman can to him in the family court system seriously is a fool…In fact it is just as insane as a religious nut who plays with rattlesnakes, some get bit and die while others don’t…Playing with a rattlesnake DOES NOT demostrate one’s faith but is instead a perfectly good demostration of outright stupidity…The same goes for dating and sleeping with a multitude of women or deciding to get married…
Until the laws are changed and men are treated on an equal footing with women in the family court system men and women will NEVER EVER be EQUAL…Until then no matter how much a man treats a women as an equal oe a peer in reality he will never be equal in regards to her and will always be at an disadvantage…
January 4th, 2007 at 6:30 pm
DaPoet,
Please don’t remind me of my ex-wife by excelling at missing the point.
I’m very much aware of family court. And, I’m very much aware of the fastest route to family court: getting hooked up with an immature, entitled bitch.
Every woman doesn’t hate men, and every woman isn’t evil. Use a better screen next time.
January 4th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
Once again Marc you have gotten it wrong and in doing so put words in my mouth that I did not say…Like you my father wouldn’t listen to me in regards to both of my stepmothers and in the end he was forced to admit that I was right…But only after he was facing bankrupcy and he’d been infected with an STD infection that took his life…
Sad to say but just like my dad you are a fool…
January 4th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
DaPoet,
Your father got hooked up with immature, entitled bitches, and you are blaming me?
Perhaps you should hang out at Women’s News Daily instead.
January 4th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
Marc Wrote:
“Your father got hooked up with immature, entitled bitches, and you are blaming me?”
What you are describing (sadly) is today’s average american female and I have never in my entire life met one who was any different…Even though I have met a lot of women who insisted they weren’t but in the end turned out to be lying…As far as I’m concerned any female who claims that they don’t hate men and won’t take advantage of destroying the men in their lives is not to be trusted and is a POTENTIAL FINANCIAL RAPIST!…
January 4th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Marc all you are doing is teaching men how to rig the system in their favor…Which at best is a stopgap solution and a temp. fix that will not always work…When you should be educating and encouraging men on how to overthrow the system and put something better and that actually works in it’s place…
January 4th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
Marc,
Do you realize that the problem is institutionalized sexism, that fuels the female entitlement. I mean the wining and dining, is not what allows women to feel entitled, its every institution that we deal with day to day. From Abortion to church, to schools, to the justice system, to the government.
I think you are missing is that these are what most of these men are facing. No one is saying that there are not good women out there. No one here hates women. No one here has called women bad names. Everytime I have seen an exchange with you, its always you that tries to degrade someone, usually based on his gender. Why, I dont know. BUt I do know men who like to constantly get appreciation from women. Which explains why you have so many women who like your books and articles..etc These are the same men, who do become the Nifongs, Oreillies and the Geraldo Riveras, when in the company of women.
January 4th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
Gentlemen,
The only recommendation I can make is for you to ignore me. You don’t like my advice, you don’t read my books, you don’t listen to me on the radio. You feel the need to change me. Why? I’m not going to change. My advice is solid and tested.
When men and women from around the world pay you for your advice and give you affirming feedback, when radio luminaries give you glowing testimonials, when you get offered TV deals, then you will have a claim. Until then, perhaps you can learn from me.
This is a free country, and you can live the way you want. Best of success to you!
January 4th, 2007 at 9:41 pm
You guys should all go and get a woman who will be subserviant and act as your doormat. Move to the Middle East or some such place. You seem to overlook the fact that there are way too many men who mistreat their women. I was the “perfect wife,” home caring for the kids, dinner on the table, house spic and span, outdoor chores all done, etc.,(not to mention satisfying his desires) while my husband was supposedly “working.” He was NOT working-he was busy picking up women.I’ve seen men marry women because they were “hot,”(and no, I’m not a dog) never mind that they expected the men to be their servant. So, I stay home and do “womens” work. I don’t go around whining over what he did to me. I didn’t make off like a bandit either. What were all those years of my life worth? How can I ever regain those years that were lost to the work force? I have made the best of things and have moved on. So to all of you who think I am acting like a princess, etc. Take a long hike off of a short dock. I realized when things were pointless in my marraige-just as i realize posting to you guys is as well. I feel sorry for y’all and for the women in you all’s future…Bitter-bitter-bitter… it is a choice you make.
January 4th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
Marc, I have to admit: Mable here sounds like your classic perpetually unhappy woman.
I don’t know if he ever got under her clitoral hood and made her Earth move, but she sure is angry that he tried it with other women!
“I didn’t make off like a bandit either.”
Translation: “I took him for everything he got in the divorce, and boy am I disappointed!”
“What were all those years of my life worth?”
Answer: what you put into them, Mable.
“How can I ever regain those years that were lost to the work force?”
Did you CHOOSE to stay at home and not work? Or did he put a gun to your head and ORDER you to stay at home and out of the work force?
“I have made the best of things and have moved on.” If you are accepting an alimony or child support check every month you have not moved on.
When you are not ordered to pay such, it is much easier to make the best of things and move on.
And your gratitude is overwhelming!
“I was the “perfect wife,†home caring for the kids, dinner on the table, house spic and span, outdoor chores all done,”
Let’s see: You were not out working a job, so unless you brought a substantial dowry into your marriage I suspect the mortgage or rent payments were coming from his paychecks, as was the money you were using to purchase the food you were putting on the table and the things you needed for the kids.
You say he was not “working” but busy picking up other women.
WELL!!! If he is THAT successful as a giggolo, he don’t need to read Marc’s advice on getting under the clitoral hood and cranking her engine!
January 4th, 2007 at 11:19 pm
I read that post by Mable, and said similar things to myself. I am too lazy to post it though.
Thanks Sir Knight!!!
January 5th, 2007 at 12:37 am
Polish Knight, the very word “knight” in your alias screams wimp, wuss, chump, coward, & other such names! As I point out in my own blogs at MySpace (to which my alias is linked, BTW) the days of white knights & distressed damsels are LONG GONE!! Gone the way of June Cleaver’s apron, gone the way of “men as breadwinners” & “women as homemakers”!
The FIRST DATE sets the tone for the WHOLE r’ship. If you bother playing the dating game at all, insist that the woman pay her own way while you pay yours. (After all, you are strangers at this point, just getting to know each other.) If she makes her own way on the career front, she must pay her own way on the dating front. It shows that you both are willing to hold up your own ends of the r’ship.
Remember, chivalry is a one-way street; respect is a 2-way street. Chivalry is condescending; respect is reciprocal.
January 5th, 2007 at 4:26 am
Roxtar, my friend, you read far too much negativity into the word ‘Knight’. Not all are the Bono and Princess Di worshipper sort, the Minnesinger type who woo’d in courtliness. They were the stay-at-home honorary knights by family connection, in service to the real Knights, the leaders, the doers, the fighters.
The Teutonic Knights had their own cities and a State. They were a powerhouse. Their swords were more valuable to them than any fancy words or poems. Chivalry was rivalry and competition and had little to do with women. Their Chivalty was order of rank and determined by who was left standing after combat. Maybe we need to get back to that tough, relentless, demonstrably masculine society. I see their ghosts all around me.
January 5th, 2007 at 6:44 am
On another note. I was in a Sams yesterday early in the morning. 3 power fork lifts going. All run by women. 1 power floor scrubber going powered my a chick. I saw 27 employees. 3 were men. All, and I mean all the decision makers were women. Maybe our young men are angry because they can’t find a job. I’m 58 but if were in my 20’s and looked at the collages where 60% of the students were women, I would be nervous. I could be wrong.
January 5th, 2007 at 7:13 am
Mable — When situations like yours typcially happen, it is the wife who gets most of the things of value, starting with the kids, if any, but including the house, the car, and the power of the state to enforce her views henceforward. So in a sense, things end up turning out “fairly”. The guy sort of gets what he deserved.
But when the roles are reversed, it’s the same outcome that typically occurs. If it’s the wife who has acted badly, she stioll walks aways with most of the valuable things fromt eh marraige, and the husband still gets the short end of the stick in the settlement. The wife still gets the kids, even though she was the one who cheated. She still gets the house, the car, alimony, and so on.
As an anecdotal rejoinder to your situation, I was the “perfect husband”. Worked my tail off, never cheated, never went out drinking with the boys, never did anything other than love, support and cherish my wife and two children for ten years. I put my ex through graduate school and when she was done, she was supposed to do the same for me while I stayed home with the kids. Six weeks before her graduation she decided she still didn’t feel like living up to her end of the agreement, filed for divorce, and the rest as they say, is history. Oh yeah, and she had an abortion before we ever met and conveniently never mentioned it to me for the entire cours eof our marriage, while leading me to believe that she was pro-life. She of course won 100% of the divorce courts rulings when that all came down, and I ended up only being able to see my children a few days a month because that is “standard” visitation in Illinois, and had to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in “support” while she was free to not work for almost five years post-divorce even though seh was fully capable of doing so (with a graduate degree in hand, too). I think most of the men who post on this site have had similar experiences. The facts are different, but the story is the same.
We men don’t want doormats, as you allege. We want women who will pull their weight in the relationship in all respects, including financial ones, and who will be honest, full-fledged partners. And we want a judicial system that treats both men and women fairly if and when the relationship terminates.
Right now, although there are some women who do pull their weight, there are significant numbers who don’t and who expect to be treated like princesses. And then relationships end and it’s time to head to divorce court, it is extremely rare that we find a settlement which can in any way be considered “fair” to us. Whereas in the past most of us just sat back and “took it”, now we are (finally) actively trying change both of these situations.
January 5th, 2007 at 7:28 am
Comments made by Roxter taken from several of his blogs on MySpace:
I love women–always have, always will–but my trust in them is ruined…Men are Awakening! Posted Dec. 24, 2006
As long as I avoid dating, relationships, marriage and sex, the bar babes seldom give me trouble…Not Anti-Women…Just Anti-Marriage Posted on Oct. 27, 2007
But I will stand by my warning to my brethren that dating, relationships, marriage and sex are hazardous to their health–financial health, emotional health AND physical health. Caveat andro–let the male beware!…Not Anti-Women…Just Anti-Marriage Posted Oct. 27, 2007
The only thing about women that I resent is their behavior when it comes to dating, relationships, marriage and sex. As long as you avoid those 4 things, women can be friendly, even sweet, to you, and your interactions with them will usually be positive. But anytime any of those 4 things enter the equation, that is when the trouble starts…Dating & Relationships: Equality’s Last Frontier Posted Oct 16, 2006
Roxter I myself don’t trust women, avoid interacting with them at work, am antimarriage and if I were single (I’ve been married 25 yrs.) I wouldn’t date as there lots of other things to do then waste my time by throwing my money away on a spoiled…
It just so happens that I do agree with Marc up to a point but only up to that point and no further…
January 5th, 2007 at 7:30 am
Sorry I left out a word…I meant to spoiled brat…
January 5th, 2007 at 7:39 am
Mable — If you (or anyone else) wants to read my full story, please send me an email at sommrz1@netzero.net, and I’ll send it to you. It may help you understand things from “the other side”. It’s way too long to post on this site.
January 5th, 2007 at 7:48 am
What an ego you have there Marc…It kinda reminds of Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton who while unable to and unfeminine enough to grow a decent pair of breasts think that they are just Miss. It and the greatest thing since sliced bread…
Having been married for 25 yrs. (can you say that I think not) I must be doing something right and now that I can no longer be forced to pay child support for my son now that he is old enough to fend for himself and has learned all that I can teach him about how wimmin are in reality as opposed to how they claim to be…My wife is free to go as I don’t need her financially, emotionally, sexually, to take care of me, clean my house, entertain me or for anything else for that matter…Nor will I cater to her in bed as you insist that men must do until she decides to reciprocate said catering…Because I don’t need her and choose to stay with her I can also choose to leave at any time if she doesn’t behave…For now she has chosen to behave especially since the reality is she needs me for more that I need her…
January 5th, 2007 at 11:17 am
Dear supamike,
You ask in comment #51, “Why would today’s modern women want to buy a man dinner, or pay him for dating entertainment? What motivates her to do such a thing?” The answer is, because she does not want to be a purchased woman.
In comment #61 you said, (to Marc Rudov), “Every time I have seen an exchange with you, it’s always you that tries to degrade someone, usually based on his gender.”
I completely disagree with you. Marc is the most neutral of all observers in every category I’ve seen him address and he promotes equality with no compromises and/or excuses along the way because of gender.
January 5th, 2007 at 11:53 am
Hate to disapoint ya KateM but Marc isn’t a neutral observer and all he really is doing is teaching men how to stack the odds in their favor by rigging the system…Until women are given the message that men will have nothing to do with them until they change their miss behaving ways they continue to go on acting as they do now…And by his consistent attacks on those men who disagree with him Marc has shown that like Conservatives in general, Will Malven and John B. who also post here on MND that is a collaborator…
January 5th, 2007 at 11:57 am
DaPoet,
Not only are you NOT a poet, you are NOT a reader or a comprehender or a thinker or a communicator.
January 5th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
If Tiger Woods posted language like yours Marc, but about golf, I would read it that he is an arrogant ass. I would not need to read his book to conclude that, it is self contained in the hypothetical posts. Thats the point some here are trying to make, not to change you. The next thing I expect to hear from you, after recounting your media following and international cult is that “you coulda been a contender!”
It strikes me odd to discredit married men as you did supamike in conversations about dating, while extrapolating dating behavior into what it likely will be like if you marry an entitlement woman. I’d say the data is meaningful from before the couple meets until years after marriage or divorce to draw meaningful conclusions, no?
All the emphasis on who pays for dinner (or whatever) is a reasonable and I agree important leading indicator, but there are so incredibly many factors at play and potential exceptions to rules that you can no more boil down behavior into these pat little catagories than Tiger Woods could boil down a golf swing into 3 little parts.
Mable and Marc, I hardly think that men pointing out characteristics of women, that while perhaps not valid stereotypes, are indeed valid generalizations, should be called whining. Thats like someone saying that rain makes you wet, or a broken leg causes pain and some inconvenience being accused of whining, and it does little to advance the equality notion when men being called whiners for pointing out what are in fact just manifestations of the very entitlement atttitude for which you’ve double jointed yourself patting your own back.
If men were on a quest to find women that pay 50% of the bill and reciprocate passionately for great sex, then you are dead on correct and there need be no further concerns. However, many of the complaints made by “the whiners” are things that even a so called equality no BS female who you handle expertly in bed can bring forth in a relationship and create problems. There are so many more potential complaints that women can make that even these super equality minded one can fall under them. Sadly, men may be happy with a no BS girl who pays half, is not entitled, and is great and enthusiastic in bed…our needs are simple that way. But it gets a little more complicated with the women, maybe not on first and second dates where this topic dwells, but given a couple years it shows up.
Mable, these men are bitter, but dont be confused, not emotionally driven to blindness. To look upon bitterness from a common female persepctive would be to see it as an emotional frenzy frought with bad or no thinking and an inability to judge people and circumstances through the haze. Men will mostly be bitter in a very analytical and logical way, almost pavlovian in trying to avoid same circumstances. To avoid pain is not to hate potential pain givers Mable. And finally, someone needs to explain the difference between anecdotal facts and how they can be used in debate, and general observations. Your description of how you were a perfect wife is anecdotal, and in fact shows bitterness on your part more then most of the men posting here. It also though shows that you were likely doing all the things YOU felt were what a perfect wife does. Meeting the needs you perceive and meeting the persons real needs are usually quite different. Attitude while metting needs is also important, and complaining about it now indicates a displeasure w/ doing it at the time.
If you pity these men’s potential mates, its not because they are bad men, its because these women will not be able to perpetrate as they have for centuries.
January 5th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
conservativation,
With all due respect, I just don’t know how you have the time to spend all day writing all this stuff on my blog.
Like many of your colleagues, you haven’t read anything I’ve written and constantly misrepresent my positions. Frankly, I don’t have the time or the energy or the inclination to debate you as nauseam.
My record speaks for itself.
January 5th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
DaPoet,
With regard to gender, Marc is a neutral observer. In his evaluations the bar is set equally for men and women.
January 5th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Mable proves the opposite of her point, once again:
I don’t go around whining over what he did to me.
Followed by:
What were all those years of my life worth? How can I ever regain those years that were lost to the work force?
You could have supported him and paid the bills. Marc says you should have paid your own way, regardless. Yet, here you are playing the victim.
What is that? It’s WHINING!!!
FYI: I have not whined about women in this discussion whatsoever. On the contrary, I argue that their need for men as breadwinners and meal providers means they will be forever dependent upon men. Mable trapped herself. Nobody had to put a gun to her head.
I have made the best of things and have moved on. So to all of you who think I am acting like a princess, etc. Take a long hike off of a short dock. I realized when things were pointless in my marraige-just as i realize posting to you guys is as well. I feel sorry for y’all and for the women in you all’s future…Bitter-bitter-bitter… it is a choice you make.
So she hurls a few insults and then slams the door [BANG!] and stomps on out. That’ll show ‘em!
(Gentlemen, notice the small “i”. When women are truly emotionally hurt, that’s a sign of it.)
That said, while she is like a wild cat that is incapable of feeling sympathetic to her prey, I nonetheless do feel a bit sorry for her (and not in the backhanded way that she was demonstrating.) She apparently was hurt in a relationship. But then again, we only know her side of the story. While she likes to claim she’s balanced and fair, it’s clear that she hasn’t had a lot of nice things to say about her ex. SOMETHING must have been nice about him for her to want to marry him.
Marc wrote:
For PolishKnight to write that the solution is to buy Mable dinner — when I’ve been advising that Mable should be doing the buying — proves that he is not absorbing the material.
It was a JOKE!
Mable clearly doesn’t want to do the buying, Marc. She regrets leaving the workplace, but that’s only because her meal ticket divorced her. How does she disprove my point that women need and crave men to pay for dates?
I’ve also said quite clearly on this forum that dating for relationships and simply getting laid are not the same objectives. I’ve said it repeatedly in fact. YOU haven’t gotten the material and no, I’m not going to read your books in the hopes that you’ll pay attention.
January 5th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Needn’t worry about how I have the time, but why would that thought even cross your mind?. I always thought that opinion writers, writers in general, sort of thrived on the stimulated thoughts of others as evidenced by feedback. You seem to seek automatons robotically scanning your writings for hard and fast rules of engagement.
One may wonder how you have the time to “work” on these issues as well, but I’m glad you do, because I value much of what you write.
There is little to debate in what I wrote that has anything at all to do with whether I read your books or not. The statements I make draw no nefarious conclusions about positions you have that I may be unaware of and could get enlightened by reading your books.
I said you come across as closed to critique…period, and I see that as bad
I said no matter whether you agree/disagree, there is far more to the mating game than what Ive read here in this piece, and my response is about this page, nothing more
I defend the so called whiners
I call Mable on what I see are flaws in her (ill)logic
I submit my observations and opinions about a few male female characteristics.
Agree or disaagree, I don’t care, but it has zero to do with the freaking books and articles my friend! I read every article you write that appears here, Ive read your site, the letters sent and your responses, many articles etc. Not the books, but it seems thou protesteth too much in the face of even slight disagreement. I’ve never seen you do this before, and Ive never seen a credible blogger, expert on a topic, defend their opinions by simply highlighting how popular they are and the size of the following. Even Jim Jones had a following…international, but he was a freak. Besides I have not really seen the attacks on your positions that you seem to be reacting to, as if maybe I am not seeing the full blog…I don’t know, but it appears a gross over reaction and the skin need thicken to compete in the marketplace of opinions and ideas.
January 5th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
As KateM indicated, I attack nonsense, regardless of it’s source. If you can’t see that, my blog is too sophisticated for you. Yet, you feel compelled to be here, to attack me.
Res ipsa loquitur.
January 5th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
Don’t flatter yourself Marc…All I have done is disagree with you like several others and you responded with personal attacks and name calling…Because unlike fembots who have more in common with parrots those who disagree with you along with I are independent thinkers with minds of our own…Just like the femnasties you and others in the men’s movemment seek to invalidate the personal experiences of those of us who refuse to fall in line like a good lil bot…In fact you very much like some of the radio hosts that I have heard in the past who will savage a caller to increase their ratings even when they agree with his ranting and raving…
January 5th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Mr. DaPoet,
I am not flattering myself, and I am not trying to boost my ratings with exaggerations and instigations.
I speak and write from the heart, with plain logic and honesty. I do not try to invalidate anybody’s personal experience — I have plenty of my own. Believe me. I am not in business to trash women and puff up men, or vice versa. I am here to kill female nonsense and entitlement. That process begins and ends with men.
When a woman gives me the entitlement nonsense, I shut her down. End of story. I don’t allow her into my life. THAT is how to kill female nonsense and entitlement, and I am encouraging all men to follow my lead. Too many, however, just want to argue and debate, debate and argue. To what end? It solves nothing. Life is too short.
What I have learned more than anything, since becoming an author, is that most MND men want to rant, period. They do not want to solve anything or hear ANYTHING positive about women, ever. Every time I make a positive comment about women — every time — I can predict which guy will trash me within seconds. In fact, as soon as I hit the submit button now, I know exactly who will write what. It gets old, and it’s pathetic.
Unfortunately, the men who trash me don’t want to accept ANY responsibility for their experiences, and they believe that women have exclusively caused the state of misandria in which we live. Women are just using and abusing the unfair laws that vaginized men have written, passed, executed, and interpreted.
When I got divorced, the judge said to me, in his chambers: “Mr. Rudov, I don’t give a damn about you; I only care about your children.” I wanted to kick him in the balls. He didn’t make a similar comment to my ex-wife — just to me. What he really meant to say was, I care ONLY about your wife and kids. Today, looking back, I realize that he is the typical man-hater in the system who screws men. He is the enemy. He is a MAN. Yes, I will attack men like him, and all men who agree with him, every day of the week. You bet I will.
So, I have been the recipient of that unfairness. Do I resent that? You bet. Have I learned to choose different women because of that? You bet. What I resent even more than a vindictive bitch is knowing why the misandric laws exist — misandric eunuchs put them on the books. Even male lawyers are afraid of challenging “the system.”
If men were truly honest, they would see that women behave as they do because MEN allow them to — in the bedroom, in the restaurant, and in the courtroom. But, the men who attack me won’t be honest. They just want me to say men are great and women are crap. That won’t solve our problems, and I won’t oblige them.
Problem-solving begins with identifying the root cause. The only way to change how women deal with men is for men to change how they choose and deal with women. That’s what I write about.
If men don’t like my points of view and what I write about, they are free to go elsewhere. This is not a generic blog. It is my blog.
January 5th, 2007 at 7:29 pm
Blaming men for the suffering women have wrought is like blaming the victim for rape….in your way of thinking they “allowed it to happen”. How can you say its mens fault because we allow it?
By marrying a woman I didn’t ALLOW her to divorce me and take my stuff. I married her…thats all I did, I was neither passive nor active in the rest.
January 5th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
Your Judge, Marc, is typical of today’s ‘Officer of the Court’. Totally unbalanced. He doesn’t care about you, just about the kids. He says. This mantra of the femonazis has done more to damage and destroy the impartiality of the legal system that any other single cause. Equality before the law has disappeared under the rubric of ‘in the best interests of the children’. Women hide behind the children. The judges steal power and money by reciting cant.
Yes HE is the enemy just as much as any femonazi female. Attack away. But words are weak and take a long time when there is so much hubub in the gallery.
All praise to the chap who took a rifle to the roof and found the right courthouse window to deliver his message.
January 5th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
conservativation,
Every time I write an article, I will blame men for misandria. Every time. It starts with raising “Daddy’s Little Girl” and goes from there. The rape analogy you use is wrong.
When a man actually rapes a woman, as opposed to when a woman falsely accuses a man of rape, he doesn’t do so because a law allowed him to rape her. He does it because he’s a violent A-hole. No law encourages a man to rape a woman.
When a woman financially rapes a man, she does so because laws — which men wrote and passed — encourage, allow, entitle, and condone her to do so. That’s the difference.
When a man begins a relationship with a woman by wining & dining her, he trains her to rape him financially. It’s that simple.
How many times do I have to say the same thing before we all get sick of seeing and hearing the same words?
January 5th, 2007 at 10:22 pm
Sorry, getting back to this very late. The words, “informal survey” are very important to consider. To start with, they didn’t give every married woman a shot to be in the survey. So, their results are not generalizable to all women, or even all women in America. At best, their results can maybe be generalized to th readership of that magazine.
So, while I personally believe the results are probably true, I don’t accept the results. In my mind, these results are on the level of a your standard advocacy piece.
January 6th, 2007 at 1:34 am
Guys,
I, like you, have had my disagreements with Marc about the appearance of his self promotion as well as his periodic brandishing of his following as reasons to accept his insights…bullying or being direct not withstanding…
After addressing the issue with him on a forum such as this, I let it be. Marc does have valid suggestions…he is providing crucial insight to simple human nature! Arguments can be made all day long about what really is the issue, however what is missed here has more to do with the maturity of men both emotionally and intellectually.(women too). When did you learn to act in a smarter way with..women or better yet, your boss?(after we got burned the first or second time would be my answer) When viewed in this way, Marc has provided a valuable tool to aide men today as well as helping these same men to educate their sons. Is this comprehensive in nature? No. But I don’t think that was his intention and many of you may be reading into his work with that in the back of your mind. I did and after some contemplation on the subject, I realized where I missed the mark…
January 6th, 2007 at 6:59 am
Hello Marc…
Thank-you for your last post to me…I have been reading your articles here on MND and have never had a problem with what you wrote in them…The primary reason that I began posting to you was to challenge what you said to those who disagree with you, defend them and add my own perspective to the mixture of views…
Your articles have confirmed for me where I already suspected that I went wrong with my wife in the beginning and my task now has been how to live with the mistakes and figure out how to correct the situation…Just to make it clear I didn’t have to wine and dine my wife while dating her (in fact several people called me cheap because I wouldn’t spend a lot of money on a date nor did she ever ask, expect or require me to do so) but I did see warning signs in her behaviour that I failed to heed and properly address…And have since paid a high price as a result…
During my fathers second marriage I vowed to myself that I would marry once and if it didn’t work out that I would never marry again…That is my choice and I believe a valid one and I will continue using my own experience as a warning to others…My own opinion is that until the laws are changed that the risks are too high to engage in an intimate relationship with a woman…Especially after watching my dad die of an STD infection I won’t risk becoming infected with one and the only way to avoid that if I don’t marry is to remain celibate…
I also choose to do what I had to do to stay in my marriage to keep from losing my son and now that I no longer have to fear losing him I have been able to put my foot down and put an end to a lot of my wife’s miss behaviour…
I have gone from hating my father to understanding him and being angry with my mother and women in general…Perhaps it is time to take the next step by refocusing that anger and energy on the misandric males who are a major part of the problem as well…
Take Care…
DaPoet
January 6th, 2007 at 8:51 am
Ok Marc, fair enough. Lets wait for the next article to go round again, ok?
January 6th, 2007 at 9:54 am
I am sorry, I am reading the last few post, and many people have to realize that the next movement by men is critical in how they deal with women.
I may be looking to much into Marc’s advice for men, and I apologize if I did. But I simmply think that at the forefront of any Men’s Movement has to be about his children. People are not going to listen to men, if they are just talking about sex, and how to give women better orgasms. The male species always gets labeled as the more carnal and superficial one, so people expect boys to be boys. It angers me, that still men are trying to unlock the key of a womans kitty kat, and not trying to strengthen the bond of the father to child relationship.
We would not be where we are today, if it were not for the men before us, who demnanded a stronger relationship to our offspring.
It just angers me even more, that once again, like Adam in the Garden, we are going to eat what Eve is giving us. Now we go back to the primitive lifestyles to focus on a womans clit, and not our children.
I think we live in a civil society, and I think that at the forefront of this movement should be the safety, welfare, and love of our children. This movement would be super powerful if we put those issues at the forefront. The feminist movement did not. It was pure selfishness, and about women themselves.
So once again, here we go down a path, that focuses on women. How to satisfy that woman. Well sorry I am not buying it, not this time.
Let women learn their own clits first, every man must keep his eye on his children. A woman sex life is like a black hole, she can be just as addicted to sex as any man, or even more. We as men have to keep our eye on what God wants us to. Any man that tells you that your focus should be on the woman is liar and a fool. The woman is your helper, and we as men have to provide for our seed. Any man that is for “fun power” over women, is still a boy in the mind.
For goodness sake, let the mature people come forward.
January 6th, 2007 at 10:24 am
My latest responses:
To oneShef:
Thank you for rereading and reconsidering my works with more objectivity, for understanding that my true intention is to help men by shining a light on them. Thinking of women as enemies doesn’t solve any problems, and it hinders men from finding the good ones. We cannot build and maintain a livable society without men and women getting along. Because of male guilt, men have initiated and allowed the misandric imbalance to grow and fester. I want it to end. I believe my approach will work.
To DaPoet:
Your latest words are obviously heartfelt, and I appreciate and thank you for them — they make everything I’ve written seem worthwhile.
To conservativation:
Thank you for your support. I welcome that future opportunity.
To supamike:
You still don’t get it. The forefront of the men’s movement has to be about men, not about children. Here’s an anology: The flight attendant instructs us, in an emergency, to place our oxygen masks on ourselves before dealing with our children. Why? If we die, we can’t help our children. The misandric laws are not per se anti-children; they’re anti-male — thereby making them anti-children. The feminist laws are not pro-children; they’re pro-female. In my opinion, feminism doesn’t care about children at all.
Eunuchs are raised in homes with weak fathers, who worship their wives and daughters. Eunuchs become man-hating adults who screw men in the media, courts, police forces, and legislative bodies.
Men will succeed in making the MAN more important by being and acting more important. This starts with how fathers raise their children, making them understand that BOTH parents and are equally important, that brothers and sisters are equally important — not to believe that their mothers and sisters rule. The husband must make it clear that his wife is not more important that he is. This begins when a man goes out on a first date with a woman: he must not make HER the focus of the date. HE is equally important. Eunuchs, on the other hand, believe the date is all about the woman. Recipe for financial rape.
Finally, sex is the crux of the male/female relationship. If you don’t believe that, you don’t understand the real world. If the sex is bad, the relationship ceases to be a relationship. BOTH parties must satisfy each other in bed. If not, these parties will go elsewhere, as they should.
I wrote Under the Clitoral Hood because too many guys don’t know and/or don’t care how to satisfy a woman in bed.
My article (does anyone remember that I wrote an article here?), “Most Wives Regret Marriage,” underscores the problem that my book addresses. If you read my book, you can SOLVE the problem. I believe in SOLVING problems, not debating them endlessly.
If you believe in wining & dining women, if you don’t care about or know how to satisfy them in bed, you will end up with a woman who cheats on you and takes your money and children. Nothing in life is guaranteed; as in business, the best we can do in life is MAXIMIZE positive outcomes and MINIMIZE negative outcomes.
My articles and books are all about MAXIMIZING success and MINIMIZING failure with women. IF you excel at attracting golddiggers and dissatisfying women in bed, and you refuse to hear me, don’t come onto my blog to complain when they cheat on you and steal your kids and cash.
The women in my life offer ME dinner. They LOVE men. They are proudly independent. They hate entitled bitches. They are wet for me BEFORE they meet me. They know that, if they utter entitlement words, they will be history. Why is all of this true? Because I tell them UPFRONT that this is what I will accept. It works. It works. It works.
January 6th, 2007 at 11:27 am
I guess this is the age of the Paid Programming commercial, where everyone needs written directions to learn how to lead their lives. Its amazing that we such a populated species on this earth, with so many stupid men, who dont know how to satisfy women in bed.
Marc, there are some really good points you make. In fact, I would like to say, that you are actually providing some good info for men, but I really dont think that its going to be very useful to alot of men. Why?
Now you say that in order to keep my woman, I have to satisfy her in bed. That right theeis the transference of power to her. Which means that now men must focus on that clit, night and night out, if he doesnt want that female to go astray. And my response to that, is that women have a responsibility to value the marriage bond as much as men do. Any person that cheats for any reason, is wrong for doing so. But lets look at this things even further. This again is nothing more that the “Make Love Not War” times of the 60s. Maybe you are revisiting that idea, and hey I think it has some valid points. Do I think that sex relieves tension, conflict and problems in a relationship? You bet. I think it does it well for both men and women. But again, women, like men, have to be a civil in men. Nobody owes them an orgasm. If women want orgasm, then they need to clear the cobwebs from that brain of theirs, and stop looking for men to unlock the keys to their clits, and learn how to share in sex, so that they dont have to be in the position to want to cheat on their men. I would say the same thing for men, who seem to have a major problem in staying with one woman. It seems the biggest problem in the mating game, is that men like various sex with women, an women seem to can dominate the sex in a monogamous sexual relationship. To be honest, men get tired of having sex with that same ole female. Have you written that book to tell women how to spice it up a bit, and keep it new? If anything, that book is the one that is lacking.
On the wining and dining thing, I laugh at that one. I got plenty of friends I know who are living with a woman today, and he is laying good pipe on a daily basis. Wow, most of these guys dont work, they sit around playing nintendo, all day, and wait for the working woman to come home, so he can lay that pipe the right way, and meanwhile his life is lacking and goes no where. I have a buddy living in Japan, with an asian girl that lives in a similar situation.
I agree with you, that some men dont know that they dont have to pay. I agree with you that these men, give women a sense of entitlement to things. Heck when I lived in California, I cant tell ya how many guys out there who were working 3 or 4 jobs, and had girlfriends or wives sitting at home. They had nice townhouses or homes, and a nice car, and in many cases she was a high maintenance woman who did not do much. But many of these guys did not have much time to get under that clitoral hood, ya know? Many of these women were not so faithful, becuz so. But that is why I come against this trend you are trying to set. That a man should not feel threatened by a woman who cant control he urges to want sex. If she cant be faithful to him , while he focuses on providing for his family, then she is useless. A cheating female, is going to cheat no matter how much pipe you lay to her. Time is the problem Marc, We live in an age where the “thinking man” rules. Men have more need to use the right “head” in these days. Eerything you put forth in this thing, is to reduce the human species to the Bonobo Monkeys, and its just not going to happen. We should love sex, we should enjoy sex, and heck I love it alot, but we all need some obedience, repect, and disciplne in everything we do with our bodies, From how we eat, to how we sex. A woman libido can be a black hole for any civilized male. Trying to focus on making her happy, will take you focus off the things that matter.
Here is another thing, how many women these days are cheating on their husbands? I ask this, because I am of the belief that the PC solution is not the right on. I know men who cheat, and I have met women who cheat. The whole time, I realized that a cheater is a cheater. That no matter what you do, these people will cheat. The one thing you do well , is try and get men to first find the right type of woman. That is good, thanks for that.
But its not good to teach a man that he should be labouring to keep his wife sexually satisfied to hold on to his wife. This very thing plays right into the hands of the feminist movement, is to get men focused on sex, and then they can rule the world. Ya know, the whole Bonobo Monkey experiment….lol.
Anyway, I dont want you to think I am saying that men should not have good sex with their wives. I think that often what is more prevalent is that so many wives today dont know their own bodies, and lack the education to get the satisfaction they crave. Its not completely a mans responsibility to unlock the key to a womans orgasm. OUr westerniced women have been so entitled that she feels that its your job to unlock her pleasure chest. This reduces her. And that is it, this whole thing prevents women from becoming liberated women that they say they want to be.
Since you have so many female followers, then you need to take that onus that you put on men, are replace it to women. If they want that “nut”. then they need to be a hell of lot more proactive in te bedroom. And I dont know any married man that would disagree with that. Becuase during copulation, women are simply lazy and are not expending much energy during the act. If she wanted, then she needs to get move her butt a hell of alot more….lol
The dining and wining is a cultural thing. I have 2 daughters, and when those 3-leeged creatures show up to pick my daughters up, I do want them to treat my daughters, but I also teach my girls that its ok to buy them something, and to go dutch. A man wants to show that he can be a good provider when he takes his woman out for a mean and a movie. Every mating system on tha planet shows that the female is going to mate with the best provider to her offspring. Can some men over do it? Sure, and I hope you get that point accross to them. But you have to realixe that a good woman understands that when a man takes her out for a good time, is no becuz he is buying sex, but becuz he wants to show respect to her.
We live in materialistic world my friend. The greatest force that women fight against in this world is not men, its the fact that we are such a material world, and the material world is like kryptonite to a female. I think this is effecting her orgasms, more then men not doing the right things. So many women see so much to get. It is detiorating her sexually and maternally. Its now affecting our children and families.
Heck most westeern women are mired into a fantasy world, that no man can meet. I would bet that her mind is more on shopping than getting banged from the back by some 3-leeged creature…lol..
January 6th, 2007 at 11:46 am
I the mens movement was about men, then why so much focus from you on the female liido?
Lastly, I would like to say that your style needs refining a bit. YOu do a radio show, would like me to call in?
Here is a link to the Bonobo Monkey experiment:
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1282/is_1999_Sept_27/ai_55820853
January 6th, 2007 at 11:48 am
Supamike,
There are two playoff football games on NBC this afternoon. Try a different activity for a change.
January 6th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
I got Indianapolis, and the Jets.
I wonder when they are gonna do the study about how many men who regret marriage? Ya know?
You claim to be shooting down entitlement, but you put up an article, that speaks directly to the entitlement of women?
January 6th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Supamike,
With every posting, you reveal more about yourself. You seem angry that I advocate satisfying a woman in bed. You believe that giving a woman great orgasms is entitlement, like wining & dining. Hmmmm…. Methinks thou protesteth too much!
Allow me to wear my shrink hat. Could it be, my devoted reader, that you cannot sexually satisfy a woman and, therefore, resent a man who can, who is good at it, who advocates it? Methinks so.
Let me disabuse you of your disempowering outlook: If you cannot satisfy a woman in bed, you are BORING. There is NO reason for her to be with you, except, perhaps, to play a few hands of pinochle, talk about the weather, feel sorry for you, and steal your money.
If a woman cannot satisfy me in bed, SHE is boring, and I don’t see her again. Sexual satisfaction is not an entitlement; it is a REQUIREMENT.
Some concepts are so simple they evade even the simplest of minds.
January 6th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Here is a perfect metaphor for how an entitled woman will treat a eunuch. Learn from it. Learn how to avoid it in Under the Clitoral Hood.
January 6th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Hahahahaha!! Good one.. *smile* I might use that as an avatar. By the way, the game comes in 2 hours,
But ya know, its funny that I am suppose to feel less of man, and be challenged to the “school boy” soundbites that riles men up to prove who is the bigger man. Ya see, that is why I want you to take alot closer look at your style. You are, my brother, and no matter what, we should at least have some brotherhood between us. Even if we disagree. Which is why I put forward the Bonobo Monkey experiment example. Becuz its clear that the reason that the males are controlled by the females in Bonobo groups is because the males are constantly infighting and have no alligience to one another. What happened to brotherhood?
I realized that there are 2 things that gave men access to women and his offspring and those 2 major things that are disspearing today:
1) Is the ability to innovate, create, and be resourcelful. Today we see the stunting of the growth of boys to not let them explore.
2)The ability to find alliances in among men, in religion and other institutions that held males to higher esteem. Men simply compete with one another for resources and women. At one time, men simply gave respect to other men.
All of these are being broken down in our society, and now all you can get, is a guy like yourself who knows nothing more than to try and claim that every man is not a man until he gets down and lick the loins of those females out there….lol. Grow up, men come all different shapes and sizes and with all kinds of issues, that does not exclude him from manhood. This is not the primitve jungle my friend, we live in civil societies now.
Marc, I dont brag, but I enjoy sex, and my wife enjoys it with me as well. She also loves to spend money… I have laid the pipe well over the years, sometimes real good, sometimes not so good. Has it slowed saved us alot conflict, sure it has. But the thing that holds my marriage together is not how well I lick it, but a commitment bond that my wife and I believe in, and dont want to break. If I lose my function tomorrow, I would hate to have to think, that now I lose my wife and kids. There has to be so much more to the commitment.
But I dont fall for the old cliches’ that you use to try and bait me into some school boy fight, over whether I can satisfy my wife or not. Why? Because I would rather hold you up in esteem as a man, rather than try and pull you down.
I think many of your the people who comment to you are baffled as to why you simply lack the ability to exchange good intellectual debate without snapping into some name calling debacle. We are all men here talking about men issues. So why the need to question ones gender? I know you can do better than that.
The penguin analogy is great, and I like it. They are also one of the rare species that also emualates the matriarchal structure similar to the bonobo monkeys.
Its funny you used that, because if you would like to see the slippery slope that you are following, you would see that penguin males come from a similar background like the Eunuchs humans, paternity is nill, and mammas boys are prevalent.
You made a point to me that I should focus on other things, and I would like to tell you to take a deeper look at things before you give any advice. Heck is this really how you are gonna raise your son? I have a young man (my son) being raised in my home right now. As a teenager would I give him your book to read? Maybe..maybe not..it sure would not be the first book I would want him to read about the relations between men and women.
Truth is, that I would rather he read some of your earlier things, than to read the new things. I would guess that you were affected by some female who might of pressured you to lighten up on the women a bit. Maybe your girlfriend or mom maybe? So now you are trying to balance your approach, and it has caused you to lose focus on your original vision. Its ok, I see this happen all the time, especially when men get recognition and power.
I want all women and men to have success in the bedroom. I think that sex is a shared act of communication that allows two people to satisfy one another. People should take care of each in a union. BUt in no way should any one person be threatened to have to labor in order to keep that union solid. The instittion of marriage is a much more important union than just sex. But I think you know that already. I have been married long enough to know, that you can screw your wife well, and coflicts are still gonna arise, and great sex might delay the issues, but it aint gonna solve them. If anyones wife has an affinity to cheat, she is probably gonna do it, and there is only one person on this earth that can stop her, and that is herself. Women use these things to control men. Women use these things to control men. Especially issues pertaining to children.
Dont disrespect me again, I am only asking you this so that you dont make yourself look bad.
Michael
January 6th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Supamike:
I was w/ you a great deal here until you started the “we MUST focus on the children” thing. In a family, the couple must first focus on each other, period, and w/in that focus lies much of the trouble in men and women relating. But look around man. How many large bottomed soccer moms in minivans with little league and tumbling stickers on the back window are running around w/ a van load of kids, always at the school, volunteering for any and every activity that can stimulate little Cody or Ashley. I see these women w/ their business tools (daytimers or PDA’s) frustrated wanna-be-workin women, AND for whatever reason seem to be hopelessly lost to their husbands. Same thing applies to workaholic men as well. The marriage suffers then the kids suffer as a result. A child focused world creates not only entitlement girls but even entitlement boys and what are the odds of those 2 types having a lasting relationship?
To me it is obvious, patholiogies in kids have increased exponentially while society has gone from “seen and not heard” and sending kids outside to play to catering to their every whim and activity.
I have coached several kids sports and saw these Moms in action. The same ones were ubiquitous at practice, at games, at the schools, everywhere, they sit in groups and jaw about nothing but the kids, and its funny, about FOOD, and nearly without exception they were thundering backsided women.
Protect marriage and you protect kids.
January 6th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Hello Marc…
I decided to post this poem here, that I wrote some time after my wife and I saw the movie mentioned in it at the theater. Because the first four lines go along with what you wrote to someone else about how feminine entitlement begins with the father spoiling his daughter…I hope that you don’t mind…
When daddy’s spoil their little girls
When daddy’s spoil their little girls
an injustice to their future mates they surely do
for unrealistic demands and expectations
of their husbands they’ll make
thinking that its only fair while giving little in return
When mothers treat their husbands with disrespect
moaning and complaining about little things
over time they teach their daughters
that its ok to act like a spoiled little brat
to make unreasonable demands of their future husbands
When in the movie Jerry Maguire
Tom Cruise was beaten up by his girlfriend
not one word of disapproval did feminists utter
by their silence they clearly taught
that its quite all right for a woman to beat a man
Yet if Tom Cruise as Jerry Maguire
dared to strike back in obvious self defense
“Off with his head!†would have been the demand
for whenever a woman kills a man no matter the reason
feminists always rush to blame the victim
For years now woman have griped and complained
that men keep their feelings to themselves
yet whenever a man dares to express his feelings
if its not what these women want to hear
nasty names they’ll yell that call his manhood into question
Men are still expected to work very hard
to put food on the table and care for his family
expected to put aside his wants and demands
yet how often is he thanked by his wife and children
for the many things he willingly provides
The list of woman’s demands and expectations
seems to grow longer each and every year
even as feminists claim by their actions
that men have no right to expect anything of women
to me this seems most unfair
Copyright DaPoet…Jan. 6, 2007
January 6th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Conservativation:
Maybe you misunderstood me a bit. I am not at all talking about catering to children. But I am talking about strengthening the father/child bond. I think that men have a great interest in making sure their sons and daughters grow up right. I see many men today who are really sad because they dont get to achieve healthy paternity to their children. This is both in marrage and those who are separate from their children.
I think that men fail greatly in a male orented movement, when they dont put their children at the forefront. We talk about how our boys have become soft and femninized, why? Because much of the home has been feminized.
I agree that a perfect union creates a good marriage. Of course that marriage would be one that realizes that a man is to be sacrificial, and a woman to be selfless. All of this in which focuses on raising striong healthy offspring. The marriage institution was created so that men and children would have a stronger bond. Marriage was meant for the safety of children. I do honestly feel that men get so much into their work, and satisfying the women, that they dont see the influence that they must have on their children.
Also I am not talking about spoiling children, I am talking about quality raising of children. We have lost our influence to children due to many things:
1) Work a holic
2) Cheating
3) laziness
4) Trying so hard to keep the Mrs. happy
5) Materialism
I used to think that if you made your wife happy, that you would ultimately rasie good children, and have a happy home. I realized that his is a deep abyss that is destructive to children and the family.
We need to stengthen the bonds with our children, this is not just the ticket to defeating feminism, but it is the one thing that will benefit all men and marriages.
January 6th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
onservativation:
Maybe you misunderstood me a bit. I am not at all talking about catering to children. But I am talking about strengthening the father/child bond. I think that men have a great interest in making sure their sons and daughters grow up right. I see many men today who are really sad because they dont get to achieve healthy paternity to their children. This is both in marrage and those who are separate from their children.
I think that men fail greatly in a male orented movement, when they dont put their children at the forefront. We talk about how our boys have become soft and femninized, why? Because much of the home has been feminized.
I agree that a perfect union creates a good marriage. Of course that marriage would be one that realizes that a man is to be sacrificial, and a woman to be selfless. All of this in which focuses on raising striong healthy offspring. The marriage institution was created so that men and children would have a stronger bond. Marriage was meant for the safety of children. I do honestly feel that men get so much into their work, and satisfying the women, that they dont see the influence that they must have on their children.
Also I am not talking about spoiling children, I am talking about quality raising of children. We have lost our influence to children due to many things:
1) Work a holic
2) Cheating
3) laziness
4) Trying so hard to keep the Mrs. happy
5) Materialism
I used to think that if you made your wife happy, that you would ultimately rasie good children, and have a happy home. I realized that his is a deep abyss that is destructive to children and the family.
We need to stengthen the bonds with our children, this is not just the ticket to defeating feminism, but it is the one thing that will benefit all men and marriages.
January 6th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
I think its good when men talk about children. We can all agree that we have allowed other people and other institutions to raise our children. I agree that there is alot of putting kids in special schools, special after school programs, and even the TV and video games are raising are children today. That is the feminizing of our children in action. Teaching children to cater to their flesh first…Alot of mommying is going on in the homes today and alot of dads are just not doing their jobs like they should. It could be because dad does not have the right do his job in the home, or it could be that he has no clue, but mom and dad seem to be wanting everyone else to teah their children but themselves.
YOu said it, that the moms want to be in the workplace, and often dad is too stuck in the workplace, that tells me a culture that is focused on making the mighty dollar, or catering to themselves so that they can feel better about themselves. All the while we pay others to groom our children, and leave the cable on so that our children can be raised on MTV and Will and Grace…
I have seen marriage that work, as long as both mom and dad are successful. Mom is making much money, and dad has a good job, and they all produced spoiled rotten children.
This culture of parents started in the 70s, where parents demanded that there should be an adult world that is separate from their children. As I have heard parents tell their children:
“Stay out of grown folks business”
*smile*
January 6th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Telling children to stay out of grown folks business is great advice. I’m not sure if that was directed at us here on the board, but I’m a baby boomer, not a 20 or 30 something with some babies and a Dr. Spock book!
I completely disagree that the 70’s started a culture where there should be an “adult world for parents” I think you have it exactly backwards. There used to be an adult world for parents, when adults visited their friends kids could not just plop on mom or dads lap and interupt the adults conversation…kids were told unless there is blood or fire, stay in that other room while we adults visit. I have friends that, when our kids were little, they would come and visit and my wife and I joked, they checked into our home, catered to their kids including reading them to sleep and allowing them all to sleep in the couples bed, and then left…we never saw them unless we were trying to talk or play a board game and their kids were hanging off them the whole time.
That was the 50’s and 60’s friend, I was a kid then. The 70’s started the exact opposite, where kids “rights” and parents becomeing “friends” w/ kids started. There is far more then the two extremes you mention. Not all parents are chasing the almighty dollar as you put it, and your strong feelings about material success are coming from somewhere friend?? Not all parents are busy catering to themselves either. rather, as you correctly say, a selfless mom and selfless dad, sacrificing for the other spouse is caterin g to the marriage, and if kids must be occasionally sent away to do that, its just fine, in fact its critical. I just could not disagree with you more here that kids are so pampered at the expense of adults and this leads to huge issues.
Those moms I described shuttling kids around are I guarantee neglecting the marriage big time, and basically, because he is at work (even non workaholics) he is omitted from a lot of child activities. It is sad that you seem to jump on the meme of dads not living up to their responsibilities, I hear that crap on TV, in society, and even in church, while moms are worshiped BECAUSE THEY ARE SHUTTLING KIDS AROUND AND IGNORING THE HUSBAND, THEN THE DIVORCE COMES AND THIS COUNTS IN HER FAVOR FOR CUSTODY!
Please dont fall into the dad bashing, and please realize that parents can disengage from the kids to cater to one another without using a nanny or TV or video games to raise the kids. Like I said, we were told to just go play! Now, you have kids aimless and lost with no real ambition. Recent study shows kids aspire to be artists, musicians, various entertainment and artistic experession kinds of things because they have, in my opinion, been so catered by moms running them to sports, art lessons, music lessons, horse riding, gymnastics, and so praised and encouraged that they feel entitled to pursue what mommy has been facilitating. But, we still need police, doctors, engineers, etc. and that is no fun and hard work.
January 6th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Yea well one thing is for sure, is I agree more time needs to be dedicated to a marriage, and I dont see anything that I said that says that should not happen. BUt I can tell ya now, that there is no more quality time that my wife and I can spend, than with our children. This is not something that separates us, its something that brings us closer together, so I have no idea what you mean, by telling the kids to get out the bedroom while mom and dad talk. Heck I can remember as a kid the parents telling us to go outside and play, all the while so they could get rid of us so they could have some time together. I think that TIME is of the issue here. It always is the TIME derivative that so many seem to miss in the equation.
I dont advocate people not taking care of their marriage. I do thing that some people will go on in life and not do what is necessary to take care of each other. But I think that you misunderstand me to the point that you think that I am dad bashing or mom bashing. I think that its clear that we all have to take some responsibility when it comes to how children are turning out these days. This goes directly to parenting. And I think that most of this has more to do with we living in a society that is individualitic. Most people focus more on themselves.
Also I think you think that I am once again advocating spoiling children. When in fact I am saying quite the opposite.
In todays world the weakest bond is between a man and his children. If there is anything that a mens movement can do is to strengthen that bond. We live in a world that now women can are not there to help a man achieve paternity to his children.
If we are to increase male rights, then I would hope that our first want, is a society that garantees our rights to our children. Like every child born should have the biological fathers name on the birth certificate. Like advocating that before a woman aborts her children that a father be given the option to raise the child himself. And to increase the custody rights for men. We need laws that protect fathers and children. It was the original reason the marriage was put into place.
It is looking more and more that our women are going to do what they will do.
Why should I bash dads? I am one. I mean lets be honest many dads out there are doing what they should be doing in fact most are…But lets not miss the fact that many are misdirected. I grew up in a home where all the men (my dad and grandfather) were both hard working men. My dad and mom did not always get along, and he was not always living with us. But my dad did work hard and alot. He did this to take care of us. My mom maybe was not so forgiving for that, but when we got older she worked as well.
But I see so many men get isolated from their children, due to how some moms make their children see their fathers. Let me ask the divorced guy out there who rarely sees his children?
The marriage did not work, now what? Is the kids fault becuz they are not outside to play because the marriage did not work? If you didnt want to sacrifice for those children then dont have them.
January 6th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
“I completely disagree that the 70’s started a culture where there should be an “adult world for parents†I think you have it exactly backwards. There used to be an adult world for parents, when adults visited their friends kids could not just plop on mom or dads lap and interupt the adults conversation…kids were told unless there is blood or fire, stay in that other room while we adults visit. I have friends that, when our kids were little, they would come and visit and my wife and I joked, they checked into our home, catered to their kids including reading them to sleep and allowing them all to sleep in the couples bed, and then left…we never saw them unless we were trying to talk or play a board game and their kids were hanging off them the whole time.”
If you think this is what I am talking about then you are greatly misunderstood. My wife and I go out all the time. We take hikes and go camping alone all the time. But for the most part a day around our house is one that is dedicated to everyone, the whole family, unitl bedtime when my wife and I can talk. As for our kids hanging around when company is over, I would never ask my kids to leave. But they arent there anyway. I do see these kids who are this way though, and I think this is because the mother has overnurtured or spoiled the to be under then for a long period of time. By the time my kids have free time, they dont want to see neither one of us…lol
Hey we cant blame the kids, the parents are raising these kids to do what they are doing. And that goes back to the misdirected parents. Those parents who are working all week long, and come home and run through the day, and the kids get very little attention. No wondeer that kids is hanging around so much…
January 6th, 2007 at 10:39 pm
Guys,
How many of you saw the movie, I think it was entitled “How to lose a guy in ten days”? A great movie about entitlement and standing your ground…
When I was working in the corporate world, I had 60 people in my department. Seven of us were guys, the rest young women. Groups were typically four or five women and generally a manager that most often was a male. Having grown up with two older sisters, I presumed I understood them. I learned more in this office environment than I could have ever imagined. These girls were not shy about grouping together and discussing the previous evening events and or conquests…you really can’t imagine! Anyway, what I began to observe over time was that the few that had scored, and this will validate to some extent what Marc is explaining, the few that had been drilled were much more easy going, even MELLOW, for the next three to five days!!! I saw this played out over many years often on a weekly basis. Had this been a college sociology experiment, I woulda passed big time.
Supamike, your points have plenty of validity. Marc has gone beyond clinical bs and taken the time to present a practical observance that BEGINS by assisting men in recognizing(how do we change-recognition of the problem is the first step) a major issue about male sexual selfishness and male ignorance about female sexuality. Into this, he knits cultural practice/habit…that is cute and kind on the surface but really is void of understanding beneath the surface-for the male. WHY? Most men do not know what good character traits are and what they look like in other men, so how can they recognize them in a woman? Marc also cuts through the crap that we all have going on in our heads by going straight to the issue of FOCUS…how do you hit a target that you haven’t defined and likewise cannot see? Male behavioral ignorance, the lack of knowing why we do what we do is a major problem in the western world. We pull a chair out from the table for a lady, but why? Just to be courteous? What are we LOOKING for from that person? Most guys do not have a list of characteristics they want and because of this they also have no idea what it would look like if it were on display in front of them. That is why I mentioned the movie with Mochonehey(SP?) and Kate Hudson. We laugh at it, but rarely give additional thought to who we want that person to be, what we can live with in terms of temperment and personal interests and hobbies. I’ve not read Marc’s book, but having read several of his posts, it is clear to me his offering of observations are quite valid. What he does not say, and I think many are reading into, is that his way is one of several that when used in concert, will offer men a greater quality of life! That will in turn allow him to focus his ENERGY on the needs of children and others in his orbit. I don’t know about any of you, but I now know at 46, my energy is not endless as it was just a few short years ago. This was what led me to examine why I acted and reacted to certain stimulus, firstly my relations with women…
Have a great weekend guys…
January 7th, 2007 at 9:58 am
My Responses
I am exhausted from reading all your postings. It’s great that men want to talk so much, but, at some point, it has zero ROI. I like to SOLVE problems. Tony Robbins teaches us to spend 20% of our time discussing problems and 80% of our time SOLVING them. Alas, herein I see the ratio flipped, and I know that means zero solutions.
DaPoet:
Thanx for your poem. Its last two lines underscore what’s wrong with men, especially in many of the postings above: “that men have no right to expect anything of women; to me this seems most unfair.”
Nonsense! Men DO have a right to expect a lot from women; they’re too pussified to ask. Just do it. Don’t wait until you’re married — make the demands when you first meet her. Also, using words like “unfair” and “no right” disempowers the user. Stop using these words, I say.
Supamike:
You are poster boy for hating solutions but loving excuses. Every time you utter another excuse for your behavior, you diminish yourself. Now, you are blaming Eve in the Garden of Eden. Stop it already. Perhaps you would like to hear Tom Leykis read my article, “Chivalry Died in the Garden of Eden” and the ensuing dialog with his callers (if you have a Mac, substitute web2 for wms2 in the audio link). CLICK HERE to read the text of my article.
conservativation:
You don’t like me to bash dads. Well, I will bash them when they deserve it, namely when they hand over their balls to their wives. Too many fathers just follow their wives’ agendas, a pattern they established when wining & dining them during dating. It is sickening.
oneShef:
You mention something I read a lot in this column: “I haven’t read Marc’s books, but … ” You will have no idea what is in my books until you read them. I do not repeat any of my books’ material in my articles. Ever. So, to continue to assume what my books contain is unfair to you and to me.
You wrote: “he knits cultural practice/habit…that is cute and kind on the surface but really is void of understanding beneath the surface-for the male.” My books and articles contain detailed, beneath-the-surface analyses of male and female behavior. And, yes, I do cut through the crap. I challenge you to read my books before making any more assumptions about them.
In conclusion, if I see a lot of postings after this one, I will know that the posters are discussion-lovers, not solution-lovers.
January 7th, 2007 at 10:42 am
Hello Marc…
Sometimes men just need a safe place where they can hang out, get support from other men who have faced and/or are facing simular situations…MND provides that as well as a venu to not only express and test their own views but to find common ground with those they disagree with and indeed learn about solutions that can be applied their own lives…At least that has been my experience and what I’m striving for…
Now that you and I have established a common ground between ourselves I feel much more comfortable in ordering both of your books and after I read them pass them on to my son…Since I’m already married I am of course looking for solutions that I can apply to my marriage and I now believe that even though your books are(correct me if I’m wrong) mainly geared towards single and divorced men yet may contain soloutions that I can adapt to my situation…And if my marriage should fail in spite of my efforts at least I’ll be better prepared to deal with the women who enter my life in the future after reading them…
On a more personal note I begin writing when I was 16, stopped writing not long after I married at age 22 and didn’t start writing again until after the untimely death of my father…I use my writing to get in touch with myself and explore who I am as well as to express my innermost feelings and like you I always write from the heart…Growing up I had always wanted to be a writer though not a professional one who is limited to writing what sells…This is not meant to be a swipe at writers who do but is only the choice that I made…The Internet allows me to publish my poems, short stories and essays therefore fulfilling my dream wether anyone reads my stuff or not at least I’m living my dream…Hoping all the while that the seed planted in the minds of those who do read my essays and poems will make them think and perhaps one day cause them to change their minds or at least to better understand how a man like myself perceives the issues in the gender war…
January 7th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Marc,
There is plenty to learn about you and your intellect when reading your posts. Most of your articles deal in the realm related specifically to the titles of your books…so yes, I do make certain assumptions. Again, using the 80/20 rule of Robbins, I maximize my time using my head instead of running out to get the “next good book”. I have a two hundred square foot library so reading really is what I do. As I reread my comment “beneath-the-surface”, the thought within the sentence was poorly constructed and not meant to reflect you or your writing but the male being superficial in his thinking and how poorly he views the real issues that need to be dealt with.
You do not have to answer anyones posting here and you know that! The posts here are a FORUM for others to vent and even to order their thoughts. Your assumption that your book will solve their problems misses one point, you took many years ordering your thoughts and PUTTING THEM IN WRITING before you understood what gold you possessed! That is the premise behind WRITING our goals and then sharing our goals with others. Tactile senses reinforce the acheivment of our aim. As good as you may want to see yourself, you appear to also be impatient with others as evidenced by many of your responses. THIS IS A FORUM FOR LEARNING AND EXCHANGING KNOWLEDGE, not just a site for espousing a single point of understanding, getting in the last word or issuing threats to limit anothers comments via deleting them. While you may not use your book material verbatum, everyone speaks from the base of knowledge from their life experience. To suggest you do not “leak” some of this in your writing is naive at best…law enforcement knows this is a base function of the psych of people, that is why interviews many times are repeated over and over….
One last thought…being clear one what you want is truly great! It saves alot of time and allows us to then enjoy what we really want to be doing. You appear to want to help guys on one hand but really express your impatience with them on the other. Seeing this causes me to wonder if you like having the forum, but do not view your responders as worthy of your time when they do not “get” your writing or have not rushed out to “buy” your book….
Have a great day..
January 7th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
oneShef,
I do not have to answer postings, but I do because this is my blog, not an open, generic blog, and I am its discussion leader — that’s the objective of operating a blog. I run a business, and I sell books. I do not even pretend that isn’t true.
The reason we bloggers run blogs is to promote our respective points of view. When I write an article, I invite discussion on that article. Like any good moderator, if I feel the discussion gets off track, I move it back on track. I do not throw a subject out there and let it go in any random direction. That’s not how I run my blog.
I respect the size of your library, but you cannot assume you know my books until they become a part of that library.
Have a great day as well.
January 7th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Marc,
Never said I knew your books, just suggested that your writing is a product of who you are and as such you WILL reveal yourself in your responses..and you have! Your books are no doubt a part of that lifetime journey unless you happen to be a therapist or sexual psychologist, which again, I get from your writing that you are neither of these. The reference to the library was not for its size but that I have trained myself to read for content and comprehension. I also go to a gym, ski, own real estate, invest(rather well), have five labs, cook, garden…well, I’m sure you get the point..
That said, you must know that I had my sister read your article last night and all the subsequent posts! It was a study in contrasts…she agreed, she disagreed, she disagreed even more! I had already made up my mind friday evening to get a few of your books…one each me, her and my eldest sister. Now I know I have too…
January 7th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Marc,
I really dont need to read anything for anyone’s interpretation of anything. I can make my own conclusions.
January 7th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
oneShef,
I am not a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist, a neurologist, an anthropologist, or a sex therapist, that’s true, but I am proud to say that my work has been endorsed by all five of these professionals.
Glad to know you and your sisters will venture into NoNonsense Territory.
January 7th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
We can solve our problems individually by refusing to date women unless they pay their half, & unless they see us as Partner/Spouse instead of ATM, Sperm Donor, etc.
We can also solve our problems collectively by organizing a March on Washington on the same scale as the one Martin Luther King led. Just as blacks & whites marched together then, men & women can march together now, to demand a repeal of VAWA & other laws that discriminate against men. We can also march on our state capitals to demand repeal of such laws at the state level.
Marc may have other sol’ns in mind, but here’s my $.02.
January 7th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
Roxtar,
Marc doesn’t have any other solutions in mind. You know those are among my oft-repeated, oft-repeated suggested solutions.
January 8th, 2007 at 1:02 am
Western men have spoiled western women and feminism did the rest.
Survey Asian women and you won’t get those results, as Asian men haven’t spoiled their women and feminism hasn’t ruined them – yet.
In Asia it’s still a man’s world.
Go to Asia if you won’t a woman who still likes being a woman and is satisfied with letting her man be a man.
The Philippines and Thailand recommended.
January 8th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Women from these asian countries are poor, but they know what America is like, and they can be just as bad, and sometimes worse when finally brought to a country like America. My time in the military and seeing what so many of my friends went through proved that for me. I actually had a friend commit suicide after marrying a Filipina girl, and when she came here to the U.S. she left after one year of marriage. Be very careful to think that these women value marriage. Some do, but you had better make sure.
February 5th, 2007 at 2:49 am
Most marriages eventually suffer from the ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ syndrome.
The relationship starts out as an escape and refuge from the respective responsibilities and problems in each others’ lives. Sex and romance during dating and courtship is the big drug that provides the numbing effect that allows for this. Once married, the burdens of running a home, finances, and especially children all accumulate to eventualy destroy the former refuge, turning it all into just another huge problem and drudgery to escape FROM. Hence, the attractiveness of other people who are ‘fresh’ and with whom one doesn’t have all the bad associations that have come with marriage. The wife who was turned on and satisfied by her man BEFORE marriage, as well as the husband who SATISFIED her, have become buried and forgotten beneath all the weight and stress that come with the burdens of typical marriage and especially parenthood. New people, whether we meet thm in an affair or a new relationship during separation or after divorce, seem ‘fresh’ because they don’t come with all the negative associations of the marriage. Of course this kind of new relationship will seem good, especially the sex. But its all just an illusion.
August 1st, 2007 at 11:08 am
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