Toro! Toro! Matadormat

I’ve written extensively about my disdain for entitled women and how to avoid them. In fact, my latest book — Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables^TM — advises men about having mutually satisfying sex with their girlfriends and wives, without giving them meals, vacations, cars, and jewelry in exchange.

Such counsel, however, doesn’t resonate with all men, as Meghan Barr’s recent article — “Who’s Your (Sugar) Daddy?” — reminded me. Among other gems, Barr relates the one of Cristine Gomez, 21, who “dated” an older man she met on wealthymen.com. During their three-month tryst, this feckless dude took care of Cristine’s rent, car payments, and college tuition. She viewed his outlays as a natural part of the “relationship” (she meant contract). How ironic that a man with economic power lacks the personal power to aim higher in life.

Despite the dire economic consequences, plenty of men — especially those weak in the confidence department — flaunt their wealth to lure women. This is legal prostitution. In such a transaction, the man has as low an opinion of his acquired trophy as he does of himself — a perfect match. For every hand, there is a glove. So, it is fitting that, for every man’s handful of cash, there is at least one corresponding money-grubbing female glove. Taking the path of least resistance, golddiggers seek the easiest source of gold. And, why not? Men who register on golddigging Websites make it embarrassingly easy for them.

It dawned on me, while formulating this article, that a wealth-flaunting man resembles a matador, besplendored in macho attire, proudly flashing his assets, daring to put himself at risk. A matador — literally a killer — has his picador and banderilleros, helpers who wear down the bull by thrusting banderillas into its hide. So, when the matador enters the ring, the bull is already weary, half-defeated. All he need do is run the bull ragged, luring it back and forth across the ring with his red cape, until he can jam his sword between its shoulder blades and into its heart. In the blood-soaked soil of this rigged contest, the matador stands victorious before the cheering crowd.

The munificent matador of mesdames won’t be as sanguine about his plight. Any man who taunts a woman to take his capital, by waving it in her face, ultimately finds her walking all over him. In essence, he becomes her doormat. Accordingly, I’ve coined a new term — matadormat — by combining matador and doormat. Unlike the bull matador, the matadormat doesn’t have helpers with spears. He doesn’t face a weary adversary, and he cannot win.

To the contrary, Ms. Golddigger is energetic and poised for victory. She has the helper, Senor El Toro, Esquire, and she will be victorious. Her arena is not in Malaga, Spain; it’s across town in family court. Yes, Ms. Golddigger will ride into the ring atop the bull to skewer the defenseless matadormat. Think alimony. Think palimony. Think blackmail. Just think, for crying out loud!

Steven D. Levitt, famed University of Chicago economist and coauthor of Freakonomics, states that incentives, positive and negative, are what drive all our behavior, and that there are three kinds: moral, social, and economic. This is why, I believe, that women have children out of wedlock. Hollywood influence has caused negative moral and social incentives to wane. And, there is a huge economic incentive — child support, which can be quite lucrative. Golddiggers exist for the same reasons. So, why will matadormats sacrifice their money and dignity for women? They use money to compensate for their inabilities to communicate and fornicate. Insecurity comes at a big price, and many guys seem willing to pay that price. How very sad.

NoNonsense Bottom Line

If you have a preference for deference, it’s quite easy to lure a golddigger. Wave your wealth in her face, and then waive your rights to half your income. Be prepared for the skewering of your dignity, for this is a rigged contest. If, however, you prize your wealth and dignity, and find catering to golddiggers emasculating, improve your communication and fornication skills. Ole!

About the Author

Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized author of 30+ articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables^TM (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth^TM (ISBN 0974501719).

Rudov’s book, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at http://www.TheNoNonsenseMan.com/.

Copyright © 2006 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.