Reflections

Why do so many women hate Tom Leykis? Because he holds up a mirror to them, on a daily basis, and they don’t like what they see. But, given the $11.3 billion¹ American women spend annually on cosmetic surgery, that’s no surprise. Yet, they do have an endless supply of mirrors and infinite desire to consult them, do they not?

Accordingly, I believe this familiar incongruity explains why women, who comprise 35% of Tom’s audience, repeatedly subject themselves to the tenets of “Leykis 101,” such as avoid marriage, never cohabit, spend no more than $40 on a date ($0 is optimal), dump any woman who won’t “put out” by the third encounter, and, in general, treat women like crap — because, allegedly, that’s what they want.

Last week, a 23-year-old woman called the show, screaming at Tom, accusing him of ruining her boyfriend. “What do you mean?” Tom asked. “Ever since he started listening to your show, he’s stopped being sweet and romantic, and it’s all your fault,” was her riposte. “Really? How’s the sex?” Tom queried. Said she: “Oh, the sex is still good.” Incredulous, Tom wondered, as we all did, how on earth sex could be good with a rogue. Not only was her answer illogical, because she wanted to keep Mr. Rogue, she ranted on and on for 15 minutes! Tom gleefully exclaimed that this young babe had proven his point.

On the flip side of the coin are the many women who love his show — because of his perspective, honesty, candor, and ability to entertain. Hell, you’d be amazed how many of them want Tom to autograph their breasts.

Every weekday at 3PM in Los Angeles, on KLSX 97.1FM as well as on 100 stations around the country and BlowMeUpTom.com, The Tom Leykis Show beams four hours of life advice to guys in their 20s and 30s, the targeted demographic. Leykis is a master marketer: he knows his listeners and what they need, and he delivers it to them. In return, his “sons” unfailingly catch his show and fondly refer to him as “the professor” and “Dad.”

After a stint as his in-studio guest two months ago, I learned that Tom Leykis reaches people far outside his narrow demographic. As I expected, lots of his “sons” who had heard me on his show bought my book and contacted me personally. Surprisingly, so did men and women two decades older — including a business owner who claims my book and articles have changed her life, and a television producer who wants me to host my own TV show.

The Dad They Never Had

What exactly is The Tom Leykis Show, and why does it succeed? I believe it is a 12-year-old forum that transcends radio: a sociological phenomenon, a collective group-therapy session, and a vicious response to our totalitarian gynocracy. Tom Leykis, who freely admits having been married and divorced four times, now rejects the traditions of society that once made him romantic.

Leykis articulates frequently that his demographic is the first generation of males predominantly raised by women, either because their divorced fathers were not around enough, or because their mothers never married. The result: wimpy boys who became subservient men. Leykis bills himself as “the dad you never had,” and there is a lot of merit to this. These young men are literally clueless about being men. Many of them are in their early 20s, already fathers, and paying child support and alimony, or, as Leykis calls it, vaginamony.

While Tom and I are simpatico on most issues, we aren’t 100%. For example, I won’t treat women like crap and don’t espouse the pump-and-dump-em lifestyle. I’m not trying to get more ass than a toilet seat and don’t believe women should stay at home. First, I treat women the way I want to be treated. Second, the laws of unintended consequences are alive: especially, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” Third, women have more civil rights than men. I never forget that points two and three compound each other.

Moreover, I don’t fit Tom’s demographic; many of his tenets don’t apply to me. Essentially, Tom operates a boot camp, or basic training, for guys in their 20s and 30s. Much of his advice is crass and strident and simplistic — exactly what young, inexperienced recruits need. Men my age need officers’ training, which has more nuance and sophistication than what Tom teaches. On the other hand, my peers keep tuning in to Tom’s show because many of them never received basic training, or they need a refresher course, or they want a great laugh.

Tom’s “sons” have come out of school, and out of their homes, hearing nonstop messages that girls are great and boys are shit. They see girls all around them manipulating double standards. They see their bank accounts depleted from useless expenditures on wining & dining and jewelry. They see how men are ridiculed and marginalized on TV. They see their divorced fathers living in squalor. They feel totally emasculated, letting their girlfriends call the shots.

So, Leykis teaches these guys to take back their lives, to reverse the situation, by showing women just as much disrespect as women exhibit to men. And, women hate seeing their own hostility coming back to haunt them. They have never been sensitized to how much society beats men down. Now, they know how it feels. This is the power Tom Leykis has given to young men. This is The Tom Leykis Show.

NoNonsense Bottom Line

I said at the outset that women hate Tom Leykis because he exposes and embarrasses them. Big deal — embarrassment doesn’t solve problems. Action does! Because of Tom, young men are taking action, and it isn’t pretty.

To the women who whine about the payback-is-a-bitch environment Tom Leykis has created, I typically say: If you don’t like it, contact your state and federal legislators, governors, and President Bush. Ask them to rescind all the anti-male laws, all of them. Then, get your female friends to respect men, love men, stop fleecing men in family court, and cheerfully buy men dinner. Their usual response: dead silence. Tom, I think your show is safe for a long time.

¹The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery

About the Author

Marc H. Rudov is an investment banker and business consultant residing in Silicon Valley, CA. He is the author of 26 articles and the book, The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth^TM (ISBN 0974501719).

Rudov’s book, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at http://www.TheNoNonsenseMan.com/.

Copyright © 2006 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.

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