Author Rudov Explains Why Men Avoid Commitment

Los Gatos, CA (PRWEB) August 18, 2005 — Marc H. Rudov, author of The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth TM (ISBN 0974501719), has written a new, groundbreaking article called “Why Men Avoid Commitment.” Rudov wrote this article, available as a bonus to owners of his provocative book, to explain, once and for all, that the anti-male environment in this country is the real reason so many men avoid committing to women. Details about buying Rudov’s book, The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women, and getting his new article are available at http://NoNonsenseDating.com.

“Why Men Avoid Commitment” is a groundbreaking article, like nothing else available. It isn’t about the irrational fears of men, as some psychologists claim. And, unlike what some books and articles would have you believe, this article does not attribute men’s commitment avoidance to fears about a loss of masculinity in relationships with women. Finally, it does not accuse men of being hopeless, emotionally stunted cavemen, as the movies and TV shows portray.

According to Author Rudov: “Many women are complaining these days that they can’t find men who will commit to them. They think it’s because men hunt and women nest. They think it’s because men are too immature. That’s total nonsense. These women just don’t get it and are blaming the men, as usual. ‘Why Men Avoid Commitment’ authoritatively explains that men shun relationships because they dislike dealing with women’s double standards; enduring hostile family courts; facing the Napoleonic, anti-male law-enforcement system; and being engulfed in a feminist-dominated society where male-bashing is socially acceptable. It’s time for society to hit the reset button on its views of men. Continuing in the current direction is taking all of us backwards. The time for change is now.”

Robert A. Fink, MD, FACS, neurosurgeon and founder of California Parents United, had this reaction to “Why Men Avoid Commitment”: “Excellent work. Rudov’s article should be required reading for any man contemplating an intimate relationship with a woman.” And, Ilene L. Dillon, MSW, author, psychotherapist, and coach, had this to say: “Marc Rudov has a very solid argument about the commitment avoidance of today’s man, and he’s articulating something that needs to be said.”

Rudov’s groundbreaking article is available as a bonus to those who submit proof of ownership of The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women. Specific instructions for doing so are at http://NoNonsenseDating.com.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Contrary to popular belief, Author Rudov maintains that men and women are from the same planet but, unfortunately, have been socialized differently and programmed for conflict. He counsels men that the only way to succeed with women is to remove their layers of socialized behavior and find women who have done, or are willing to do, likewise. The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth teaches them how. Men and women, as well as a growing number of psychotherapists, are becoming adherents of the book and validating its principles.

The 137-page book (ISBN 0974501719), published by MHR Enterprises, is available for $17.95 via Borders, Hastings, and Barnes & Noble stores, as well as Amazon.com, BN.com, BooksaMillion.com, ForbesBookClub.com, Powells.com, AtlasBooks at 800.247.6553, and http://nononsensedating.com/. The book’s Website contains a Dear No-Nonsense Advisor column, the No-Nonsense Dating online service, the NoNonsenseDating.com blog, No-Nonsense News, as well as Rudov’s articles, radio interviews, and scheduled events.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Marc H. Rudov, an investment banker and business consultant residing in Silicon Valley, California, received his formal education in engineering, with a BSEE from the University of Pittsburgh, and business, with an MBA from Boston University. He obtained his vast informal training in relationships with women through over a decade in the dating world after his divorce. Rudov is the author of The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth (ISBN 0974501719). In addition to his book, he wrote the following articles: “Why Men Avoid Commitment,” “Cellular Compatibility & Great Sex,” “Why Men Dread Valentine’s Day,” “Romance Lessons from Tsunami Animals,” “Did You Make Your New Year’s Revolution?” “Can Men and Women Really Get Along?” “How Every Man Can Land His Dream Woman,” “The Golden Rule Dictates Your Sex Life,” and “Five Myths About Women.” Rudov has appeared on many national and local radio programs, and his musings can be found on FoxNews.com and MensNewsDaily.com.

“How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth” and “Life with her needn’t be an endless game of chess” are trademarks of MHR Enterprises.

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Get your copy of “Why Men Avoid Commitment”

Like mother like daughter! Kate Hudson, daughter of Goldie Hawn, shares her mother’s philosophy that monogamy isn’t realistic, even though she chooses to be faithful. Is this Hollywood doubletalk? You decide.
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Hudson: Couples Have ‘Power’ for Monogamy

By Associated Press

August 5, 2005, 2:55 PM EDT

NEW YORK — Kate Hudson says monogamy isn’t “realistic,” but believes couples have the power to be faithful. In an interview Thursday on syndicated TV show “Access Hollywood,” the 26-year-old actress said, “I don’t believe (monogamy) is realistic. But, I believe that we, as people, have the power to make it happen.”

She added: “I will not disrespect my husband and stray.”

Hudson, the daughter of actress Goldie Hawn, married Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson on Dec. 31, 2000. The couple have an 18-month-old son, Ryder.

Asked if she believes Robinson has remained faithful, Hudson said, “If you focus your attention on that, then you are always wondering if your husband or men are out there cheating on you.

“If for some reason, that’s what he has to go do, I just don’t want to know. As long as things are good in our house, just please, don’t get caught.”

Hudson was nominated for an Oscar for her role in 2000’s “Almost Famous.” Her screen credits also include “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” “Alex & Emma,” “Le Divorce” and the upcoming “The Skeleton Key.”

In today’s Wall Street Journal, Jeffrey Zaslow wrote a thought-provoking article about men making theatrical, public marriage proposals. In his article, which is featured below, Mr. Zaslow attempts to provide a rationale for these dopey, sophomoric marriage proposals. He doesn’t quite hit the mark, although he offers a few great insights:

1. Ahmad Rashad started the trend by making the first public marriage proposal, in November 1985, to Phylicia Ayers-Allen, during an NFL telecast (they’ve since divorced)
2. Some men now feel obliged to propose publicly because women have come to expect it.
3. Women almost always say yes to public proposals, so they don’t embarrass suitors. Only later, privately, will the women back out.

Take Zaslow’s insights and blend them with our anything-goes, no-boundaries, indiscreet, more-is-less, Jerry Springeresque American culture, and you come very close to understanding why men engage in these idiotic public proposals. The final piece of this puzzle lies in the premise of my book, The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth: men are socialized to pursue women as trophies; women are socialized to be pursued like trophies. Women have come to expect it? So, what?

These socialized, double-standard behaviors are extinct in our modern culture and lead to such imbalance and unhappiness. Stop operating on auto-pilot. Guys, if you pull a proposal stunt like this, what kind of second, third, fourth, and fifth acts will she expect from you after the wedding? Use your brains!

Until men and women remove their layers of outmoded socialization, and until they begin to revert to the normal (is that still a word?) practice of preserving privacy and intimacy, their relationships will continue to careen uncontrollably down Bizarro Boulevard.
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Love and the Jumbotron: Why Men Turn Marriage Proposals Into Public Events
By Jeffrey Zaslow (Jeffrey.Zaslow@wsj.com)
August 4, 2005; Page D1 (WSJ Moving On)

Two Saturdays ago, a scuba diver jumped into a 150,000-gallon fish tank inside the restaurant at Houston’s Downtown Aquarium. As curious diners looked on, he swam toward a young couple at a far table, and held up a sign: “Tisha, will you marry me?”

The romantic stunt was planned by Kavon Rajabi, the man at the table. He turned to his tearful girlfriend, Tisha Avara, and in the presence of dozens of cheering strangers and 1,000 indifferent fish, slipped an engagement ring on her finger. “I was proud to let everyone know I love this woman,” Mr. Rajabi said later.

In past generations, “Will you marry me?” was often asked very privately, with the woman on a porch swing and the suitor on bended knee. Now, of course, marriage proposals are routinely delivered publicly and extravagantly.

Marriage researchers say the public-proposal phenomenon is being fueled by businesses looking to ratchet up wedding-related billings, by reality TV shows such as TLC’s “Perfect Proposal,” and by a culture that celebrates attention-seekers. “A wedding is a moment of ‘lay celebrity’ — you’re the star of your own show — and now people want to extend that to the proposal,” says Elizabeth Freeman, a wedding historian and associate professor at University of California, Davis.

But there’s another factor driving this trend: People are genuinely moved by the electricity of the moment. Like others at the Houston aquarium, I got misty-eyed when Ms. Avara said, “Yes.”

Houston’s aquarium hosts 50 to 100 proposals a year at no charge. “When couples have this emotional moment here, they may decide to have their wedding in our ballroom,” says Jens Baake, the aquarium’s general manager. He invited Ms. Avara and Mr. Rajabi to tour the elegant ballroom the night they got engaged. “He gave us a folder with prices,” says Mr. Rajabi. “It’s a possibility.”

Some businesses milk proposals for publicity; a Bailey, Banks & Biddle jewelry store gave Donald Trump’s son, Donald Jr., a free diamond ring last year for agreeing to propose to his girlfriend at a New Jersey mall, with TV news crews in tow.

These days, even married couples are being encouraged to go public with “proposals.” In ads for Diamond Trading Co., ring-toting husbands loudly declare their love in busy town squares. In one spot for “anniversary” diamonds, a man on one knee asks his wife: “Will you marry me … again?” In another, a man shouts, “I love this woman! I love her! I love her!” Startled pigeons fly away. Passersby stare. His wife whispers, “I love this man. … I love him.”

Diamond Trading says it hears from customers who’ve re-enacted such “second-time” proposals. Some use lines from the ad campaign to pop or repop the question on stadium Jumbotrons.

But even if everyone else is shouting proposals from the mountaintop (or from the plaza outside NBC’s “Today” show), that doesn’t mean it’s right for your Ms. Right.

For her 30th birthday in June, Lorie Richter threw out the first pitch at a minor-league baseball game in Sauget, Ill. Her boyfriend, Kevin Kleumke, arranged it. She was surprised, however, when the uniformed catcher caught her pitch, walked toward her, got down on one knee, and took off his mask. It was Mr. Kluemke, who had secretly donned the catcher’s uniform.

Ms. Richter, a teacher, says a more-intimate proposal would have been more her style. But when she realized that Mr. Kleumke had invited dozens of friends and relatives to the game, “it was awesome. I didn’t have to call a million people. They were all right there.”

Some men now feel obliged to propose publicly because women have come to expect it. Researchers say public proposals have been gaining steam ever since Nov. 28, 1985, when sportscaster Ahmad Rashad proposed to actress Phylicia Ayers-Allen during an NFL telecast. (They’ve since divorced.)

If you think your partner wants a splashy proposal, a la Tom Cruise atop the Eiffel Tower, “proposal consultants” such as Paul Alden (2propose.com) can help you brainstorm. He charges $180 for a consultation. For $9.99, you can access his database of ideas, such as “the Passover Proposal,” in which you gather relatives and acquaintances for the “seder” meal, and ask your girlfriend the traditional question, “Why is this night different from all other nights?”

Another source for ideas is TLC’s “Perfect Proposal.” Each show chronicles a zany proposal scheme, from idea to execution. Episodes are described on the reality show’s Web site. In one, a man plasters his girlfriend’s face on a roadside billboard: “Before this proposal can stop traffic, Robert has to persuade her to volunteer to pick up trash for the ‘Adopt a Highway’ program.’ ”

Public proposal prices vary. For $1,850, skywriting pilot Mort Arken will spell out an eight-mile-long proposal over the skies of New York. For under $100, you can just buy two tickets to see Clay Aiken. On the singer’s current tour, people can text-message proposals from their cellphones onto giant screens near the stage. (At his show in Buffalo, N.Y., this week, there were several proposals — but all were for Mr. Aiken.)

Witnesses find proposals compelling to watch in part because there’s always a possibility of rejection. In February, after a man proposed at an Orlando Magic game, the scoreboard flashed, “She said no,” the crowd gasped, and the woman ran off the court. Turned out it was a stunt featuring actors. Fan proposals, which cost $50 to $200, are so routine that the team’s marketing office concocted the stunt to generate buzz.

In actuality, though, women almost always say yes to public proposals, so they don’t embarrass suitors. Only later, privately, will the women back out, wedding planners say.

I awoke this morning to my favorite Bay Area radio show, Armstrong & Getty, and was astounded at what they were discussing: kids no longer shower after gym classes in school. What?!?!?

It turns out that today’s candy-ass kids are too sensitive about their bodies and the comments of their fellow classmates to undress and shower after gym classes in school. When I went to school, we not only showered in front of each other, we swam in the nude. Big f*cking deal. We had to learn that we all mature at different rates and to different extents. We had to accept each other. We had to deal with teasing, pranks, and jokes. We had to steel ourselves and learn how to joust verbally. It was a growth experience. Today, I never even think about it. Why? Because we dealt with life honestly and moved on. In fact, had it not been for this radio show today, I never would have thought about it again.

Today’s kids, however, are dysfunctional wimps, and they will become dysfunctional adults. Our movies, TV, and schools are teaching kids such trash that they cannot cope with anything about life. Today’s kids are overly sexualized, drugged, and pampered. Parents rarely say no to them. They have poor communication skills and think everything has to be fair. There is no environment or culture of personal responsibility.

Here’s an article from The Christian Science Monitor [CLICK] about kids not taking showers in school. No issue could be complete without the ACLU, right? In this article, we read:

In 1994, the American Civil Liberties Union went to court to protect an overweight teenage girl from having to strip in front of female classmates at a high school in Pennsylvania. The school district eventually backed down and dumped its mandatory shower policy.

Instead of the school helping that girl lose weight and get over HER problem, the school district enacted a new, ludicrous policy that made everybody else suffer. One person who couldn’t cope with life dictated the life of everyone else.

So I ask you: How on Earth can these kids get married and be happy and be good parents? How can they become successful business executives? They can’t. I predict the divorce rate will escalate. The next generation of kids will be even wimpier, softer, and more-pathetic than their parents. I can’t even imagine these kids going out on dates, let alone getting married. When will this liberal nonsense end? What will YOU do to end it?