I sat in my living room, in front of my TV, watching Kimberly Bell, the ex-girlfriend/mistress of baseball slugger Barry Bonds, tell Geraldo Rivera of Fox News her tales of being Barry’s scorned and uncompensated woman. Ms. Bell was Geraldo’s segment guest, along with cowriter Aphrodite Jones, on At Large with Geraldo Rivera on FoxNews (transcript).

According to Ms. Bell, Barry Bonds had promised her college tuition, a house in Arizona, and other goodies, in exchange for her on-demand companionship during the nine years of their relationship. Everything between them seemed to be fine until one day, she alleges, Barry announced his intentions to leave her and marry his current wife. Ms. Bell Had sacrificed “everything” for Barry, but, when parting company, Barry refused to give her a nickel. Oh, no! Then came the lawsuits.

So, what does one do when one can’t win in court? Write a tell-all book! Kimberly Bell and Aphrodite Jones are releasing a book about this saga of love, disappointment, and steroids, called Bonds’ Girl (a cute takeoff on “Bond Girl” from the James Bond movies).

Frankly, I don’t care about what these two people did, or what they will do now. It is between them. But, their old relationship has become public because Barry Bonds is a public figure. What we all can learn from this is the dual stupidity of either allowing anyone to own you or allowing yourself to own another. I wrote an article about this topic called “The Golden Rule Dictates Your Sex Life.” The Golden Rule is: whoever has the gold makes the rules. It is a timeless truth.

I want you to read my article (and my book), so I won’t regurgitate it here. But, let me conclude this piece with the following exhortations to men and women:

• MEN: if you attempt to own a woman, you lose in two ways: 1) she will become your pathetic trophy, and you never will respect her; 2) if you break your promises to her, she will make your life a living hell.
• WOMEN: shame on you, if you CHOOSE (it is a choice) to let a man own you. There is no such thing in this world as a free lunch. In such a deal with the devil, you will sacrifice your dignity, your soul, and your future. So, don’t complain later when the fairy tale doesn’t materialize. Make your own way in this world; depend on nobody.

Marc H. Rudov
Author/Publisher
The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women
(ISBN 0974501719)

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