Men have a big problem: by and large, they chase women like trophies because they believe women don’t like and need sex as much as they do. I deal with the hazards of unilateral pursuit in my article “The Golden Rule Dictates Your Sex Life.”

Men have been socialized to believe that, as members of the uncontrollably horny gender, they must crawl through broken glass to get women to have sex with them. Men have been led to think that they must wine, dine, and vacation women to get into bed with them. Bullshit. Guys, you are totally wrong!

Why should you go to all the “traditional” trouble and expense to carnally know a woman when her desire for said act is equal to, or maybe greater than, yours? You don’t. The question, of course, is whether she wants YOU, not it! But, mark my words, if she is normal and healthy, she wants it…badly. If you don’t know this, you don’t know women very well. Want to know women better? Buy my book.

In my article “Five Myths About Women,” I give my perspective — based on lots of personal experience — that women want and need sex every bit as much as men do. I know this to be true, despite having heard all my life (including today) that men think about sex all the time but women think about it only occasionally. Even Dr. Phil espouses this nonsense. Dr. Phil: you are dead wrong about that.

Want more proof? Daniel Kahneman, cowinner of the 2002 Nobel Prize in economic sciences and professor of psychology at Princeton University, recently led a blue-chip research team in the study of women’s daily habits and preferences. This team created a new diary-oriented research methodology called the day-reconstruction method, or DRM. Using DRM, this team collected complex activity data from a sample of 1018 employed women, focusing on the subset of 909 women who had worked on the reference day. The ethnic composition of the 909 women was: 49% white (non-Hispanic), 24% black, 22% Hispanic, and 5% other. Average age was 38 years; average household income was $54,700.

Conclusions: Take a look at Table 1 of the DRM study. Of 28 possible daily activities, including shopping, these 909 women ranked having sex as their NUMBER-ONE desire. They ranked commuting 16th, shopping 8th. What’s also interesting, the women ranked their preferred interaction partners as such: 1st, being with friends; 3rd, being with their spouses/SOs; and 4th, being with their children. So, if I interpret these results correctly: although women like to have sex more than anything else, they don’t like to be with their spouses or significant others more than with anyone else. This means that sex, for women, is not the romantic act we’ve been led to believe it is. How fascinating. Once again, my thesis — that men and women are really the same but socialized differently and programmed for conflict — is proven true. For further analysis of this study, please read the article in News in Science of ABC.net.

Finally, to paraphrase the News in Science article’s title: It’s Official: Sex makes women happy. Remember that, guys.

Guys, be careful. BJs can lead to pregnancy and paternity suits.

A female doctor in Illinois gave several BJs to a male doctor in Illinois. She then used his sperm, from her mouth, to impregnate herself. Not only that, she had lied to him about being married when she was doing him.

Two years after delivering the baby, she slapped a paternity suit on the poor guy. He countersued her for damages over distress. He lost but appealed, while being forced to pay $800/month in child support. Do women lie? Do women scheme? Do the courts permit women to engage in outrageous behavior? Can’t be.

Some good news! Today (02.24.05), the Illinois Appellate Court ruled that the man’s case has some merits and ordered the case back to the Cook County Circuit Court for retrial. Read the article.

Women don’t seem to realize that, every time a female behaves this way, and the courts condone it (and they DO), ALL women get hurt. Why? It deepens the distrust men have toward women, and for good reason! Read a commentary by Glenn Sacks and Jeffery M. Leving about this case and others like it.

I encourage all men and women to do EVERYTHING possible to reverse the courts, to have the courts be fair towards men.

WARNING: You can tell, on the first date, that you are with a vindictive woman like this. How? Find out in my book, The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earthâ„¢.

PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

If you want to learn more about how men view Valentine’s Day, read my latest article, “Why Men Dread Valentine’s Day.”

It’s great food for thought!

I sat in my living room, in front of my TV, watching Kimberly Bell, the ex-girlfriend/mistress of baseball slugger Barry Bonds, tell Geraldo Rivera of Fox News her tales of being Barry’s scorned and uncompensated woman. Ms. Bell was Geraldo’s segment guest, along with cowriter Aphrodite Jones, on At Large with Geraldo Rivera on FoxNews (transcript).

According to Ms. Bell, Barry Bonds had promised her college tuition, a house in Arizona, and other goodies, in exchange for her on-demand companionship during the nine years of their relationship. Everything between them seemed to be fine until one day, she alleges, Barry announced his intentions to leave her and marry his current wife. Ms. Bell Had sacrificed “everything” for Barry, but, when parting company, Barry refused to give her a nickel. Oh, no! Then came the lawsuits.

So, what does one do when one can’t win in court? Write a tell-all book! Kimberly Bell and Aphrodite Jones are releasing a book about this saga of love, disappointment, and steroids, called Bonds’ Girl (a cute takeoff on “Bond Girl” from the James Bond movies).

Frankly, I don’t care about what these two people did, or what they will do now. It is between them. But, their old relationship has become public because Barry Bonds is a public figure. What we all can learn from this is the dual stupidity of either allowing anyone to own you or allowing yourself to own another. I wrote an article about this topic called “The Golden Rule Dictates Your Sex Life.” The Golden Rule is: whoever has the gold makes the rules. It is a timeless truth.

I want you to read my article (and my book), so I won’t regurgitate it here. But, let me conclude this piece with the following exhortations to men and women:

• MEN: if you attempt to own a woman, you lose in two ways: 1) she will become your pathetic trophy, and you never will respect her; 2) if you break your promises to her, she will make your life a living hell.
• WOMEN: shame on you, if you CHOOSE (it is a choice) to let a man own you. There is no such thing in this world as a free lunch. In such a deal with the devil, you will sacrifice your dignity, your soul, and your future. So, don’t complain later when the fairy tale doesn’t materialize. Make your own way in this world; depend on nobody.

Marc H. Rudov
Author/Publisher
The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women
(ISBN 0974501719)

We are experiencing a new phenomenon in our country: the female as sexual predator. In the past few years, we’ve seen news accounts of female teachers having sex with with adolescent boys, a disorder called hebophilia. Maybe adult women have been doing this, on the sly, for decades, but only now is it a part of the “public” discourse (see article). But, this can’t happen: women are supposed to be nurturing and responsible.

What’s more amazing than the news is the debate about whether these women should be punished as harshly as male adults committing the same crimes. Moreover, TV commentators seem to be shocked that beautiful women can be so dysfunctional, desperate, and depraved. Imagine that!

Our socialization tells us that a 15-year-old boy having sex with his 27-year-old, hot-blonde teacher is experiencing a rite of passage, whereas a 15-year-old girl having sex with her 27-year-old male teacher would be experiencing rape and molestation. Why the disparity? Why the double standard?

I can think of three bogus reasons for society’s double standard: 1) boys are supposed to have sex, 2) boys are tough and not hurtable, and 3) boys can’t get pregnant. What a bunch of nonsense. No, a 15-year-old boy cannot get pregnant, but he can get his 27-year-old teacher pregnant. Would that not ruin his life and that of his unsuspecting family. Yes. If a grown woman treats a 15-year-old boy as a sex toy and then discards him, would that not scar him emotionally for life? Yes. Are 15-year-old boys better able to cope with the emotions of sex than girls? No. So, once again, we find that our socialization is nonsense.

One more double standard from LA-LA Land: while we see more female teachers being thrown into jail for molesting teenage boys, Hollywood excuses and glamorizes such behavior. In the 2004 movie, Birth, Nicole Kidman had a sexual relationship with a 10-year-old boy she thought was her reincarnated husband. Of course, that was considered ” beautiful art.” Folks, wrong is wrong is wrong.

The more we realize that men and women are the same, the more we want to fight this reality. Stop fighting it. Deal with it.

Marc H. Rudov
Author/Publisher
The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women
(ISBN 0974501719)

On Sunday, February 13, 2005, at 5PM (PT), I will debate Athena Navarro, Hollywood-based relationship coach to the stars, on nationally syndicated His Side with Glenn Sacks. The debate will be about no-nonsense vs. traditional celebration of Valentine’s Day.

This show will air on WSNR 620 AM in NYC, KTIE 590 AM in LA, and WWZN 1510 AM in Boston. Listeners in other cities and countries also can tune in via the show’s Website.

For more details, read the news release.