Parade Magazine interviewed First Lady Laura Bush for the issue of January 16, 2005. In this interview, Mrs. Bush surprised me with her comments about how American boys are raised:

“I think we really need to pay more attention to boys. I think we’ve paid a lot of attention to girls for the last 30 years, and we have this idea in the United States that boys can take care of themselves. We’ve raised them to be totally self-reliant, starting really too early. They need the nurturing that all humans need. And I think there are a lot of life skills that we teach girls but we don’t teach boys. We actually have neglected boys.”

Not only do boys now attend college at lower rates than girls, Mrs. Bush points out, but “they’re the ones who are in trouble, who have been adjudicated, who can’t read, who are not doing well in school and drop out in frustration and embarrassment. A lot of the times, they’re the ones with the drug and alcohol problems.”

I don’t remember any other high-profile person articulating the over-emphasis on girls and the neglect of boys. And, women wonder why boys don’t emote in ways that would please them. In my book and articles, I stress repeatedly that men and women are the same — unfortunately, though, we are socialized differently and programmed for conflict. Well, according to Mrs. Bush, through neglect, boys are also programmed for failure. Thank you, Laura Bush, for bringing this critical issue to light.

Read my article “Five Myths About Women.”

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